• Big Apples & Beautiful Plants

    The big apple and beautiful plant on my desk!

    These past couple of weeks I have been in a bit of a funk…. Some little unexpected things happened that I let pile up and bother me. Instead of letting these incidents roll off of me and turning my focus towards the many blessings in my life I let these little disappointments and inconveniences capitalize too much of my energy.

    All I have to do is look around me to how truly see blessed I am and yet at times I struggle with being content.  My negative attitude is not benefiting myself nor those who are in close proximity of me (family, friends, co-workers). In reality it is probably pretty toxic to myself and those who have to be in my presence.  While my life is not even close to being “perfect” mostly because I manage to mess it up more than I care to admit, it really isn’t bad by any means either. There are a lot of people that are going through far more challenging situations.

    As I was thinking about some of these recent events, situations and incidents that got me into this little funk I was reminded of big apples and beautiful plants.  I know it sounds random, but sometimes it’s silly little objects that help bring clarity and focus to my messes of life. Often times these objects remind me of the person who thoughtfully and gave or made them for me which in return makes me smile.

    My husband will randomly get me something that he knows I will enjoy.  An apple is a common fruit found in my work lunch, one day he surprised me with a very large apple as my work snack. It made me laugh because the apple was so big it barely fit in my lunch bag and ended up being part of my snack and lunch.   I love all kinds of plants and flowers, however, I have a black thumb which means it is a miracle if I keep a plant alive for a year or more (yes, I have managed to even kill a cactus….). One day he brought home an adorable potted plant for me.  I took it to work and had so many files on my desk that day that it ended up finding a home next to my monitor and in front of my main work space.  He is thoughtful and knows how to make me smile. The photo above is the day I had the big apple next to my beautiful plant. While these are just two visual examples of ways I am reminded of him and the many blessings in my life there are many more if I take a moment to look around me.

    Unfortunately, there are many days when I am busy with tasks that I overlook the big apples, beautiful plants, and the many other little reminders of the multitude of blessings in my life. Some days I get sucked into tackling a variety of “to do” items or choose to focus on disappointments which tend to weigh on me instead of working hard while appreciating the positive blessings all around me.   It’s time to break out of this funk and remember who really is in control of my life.  When left up to myself I get off track, my focus is not on what truly matters in life, and I am not the easiest person to hang around.  I am ready to get back on track, anybody else ready?

    A few ways to encourage us to turn our focus towards positive blessings:

    • Look – What do you see around you that makes you smile or brings are certain special person to mind?  You probably have more blessings than realize you once you take a few minutes to look around and think about it.
    • Relax – The to do list is always growing, don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself.  You can relax every once in awhile without being considered lazy, it’s actually healthy for us.
    • Breathe – Take a few deep breaths, it helps clear your minds and relaxes your body
    • Focus – Choose to focus on the good parts of your life.  The hard times and inconveniences will come, but they do not have to monopolize all your time and energy.
    • Time – Spend quality time with family, friends, and people you love. Life really is short, make a point to invest time in people.

    Here’s to a life full of many blessings!  May we always remember what’s truly important and if we forget hopefully we’ll get back on track quickly.

  • Relationships: Granting Your Spouse Permission to Help YOU Heal

    Karlie - Red Rose FlowerRose picked by Jake from the Mother’s Day bush Karlie gave me last year! Beautiful!

    I am blessed to have a loving husband.  He takes great care of me and the girls, loves me despite my faults, pitches in around the house, always seeking ways to teach our girls, and intentionally invests regularly time and energy into our relationship and our family.

    Yet for some reason when I am tired, hurting, or discouraged he is the first person I tend to lash out at.  Is it because he is near?  Or is it that I trust he will continue loving me as he helps me get through the moments of hurt?  Is it that he is the first person who notices that I am struggling?  Is it because I allow “little stuff” to build up, get emotional, and blow the “little stuff” way out of proportion?  Or is it a complex multitude of feelings and connections of life that make me think it is acceptable to snap at someone truly trying to lovingly help me?

    Life is tough.  It would be a lie to say that I have not gone through a multitude of various emotions over the past few months.  My girls are growing up so quickly and my Momma’s heart is rejoicing yet broken over it at the same time.  I have not invested the time and energy into relationships that are important to me.  It has been a struggle to balance life, schedules, and times to the point that some days I feel like I am messing up everything or falling short. It feels like there are days when I am rushing through life and trying to just get what has to be accomplished done only to crash at night and re-start the process all over again the next day.

    How can I be an encouraging, positive, loving light, sharing God’s grace with those around me when I feel like the walls are falling in on me?  I have been praying specifically that God would break down the walls I have built up around my heart, revealed those areas I need to heal and repair, fill the holes that are plugged with the wrong motives, and work in my life, however, it is at times a very painful process.

    When an animal is hurting they tend to find a safe place and withdraw into themselves.  If you approach a hurt animal when they are in that safe place or feel like they are backed into a corner they have a tendency to snap at anyone reaching out to help them.  Their eyes are clouded with hurt or pain, their defenses are up, and they don’t know what to do so they react in anger at anyone trying to help because it is hard for them to distinguish between someone who is trying to hurt and a person who is trying to help.  I am sure vets or people who work with animals see this all the time.  The animal wants to be alone in their pain, lick their wounds, and retreat to safety even though it it not the best action if they truly want to heal.

    As humans we cannot and should not react the same way as an animal would.  We are built to value and crave relationships.  Some of our relationships may be healthy while others are pulling us down.  We cannot be everything to everybody, it’s impossible, yet we can make an impact on the lives we touch.  Starting with our relationship with Christ, spreading to our spouses, children, and reaching out to family, friends, co-workers, and others that we interact with in our lives.  It always works best when we are living our life looking for strength, encouragement, and wisdom from the top and allowing it to filter down through our lives to the people we have the privilege of loving and living life beside.

    Take time this week to spend time pray.  Investigate your heart, reflect on your relationships, and start the process of breaking down the barriers we have created to falsely shield us.  Those barriers are really just holding us back and blocking those who truly love and want to help us.  Allow your spouse and others to speak truth into your life.

  • Heart Reflections: You Can Do Nothing

    I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. – John 15:5

    I am in the process of reading several books right now and I came across this verse twice last week (probably a subtle hint or gentle reminder for me, hmmm…).  It is one that I have read many times throughout the years but the part that really struck me this time around was “apart from me you can do nothing”.   So all the time I spend trying to accomplish tasks in my own strength is worth nothing?  I really don’t want to waste my time, do you?

    How often do I try to do everything in my own strength or at least I want to feel like have some sort of control over what’s going on in my life?   More often then I want to admit!  What I really need to focus on is staying connected to the vine and drawing my strength, nourishment, support, and guidance from the one who really is in control of my life.

    Our family has grown many gardens so I am aware of the plant growing process.  When a piece of the branch or plant gets separated from the vine it dries up and ceases to produce any more fruit.  The vine is what brings the nutrients from the roots to the branches without it there would be no fruit. I don’t want to shrivel up, but rather I want to grow, flourish, and thrive producing a lot of fruit.  The main question to myself is – am I taking the steps to have that good fruit in my life by drawing my nutrition from the vine or am I starting to shrivel?

    I am praying that this verse will be a reminder to all of us of how important it is that we get our daily strength from the vine.  No matter what your circumstance is today you can be encouraged that God is in control and he will give you the nourishment you need for today.  Eventually you will be begin to God working through your heart and life to produce an abundance of beautiful fruit.  Take little steps today and start drawing nourishment from the vine.  Spend some time  praying, listening to a sermon, reading the scriptures, or singing praise and worship songs to help replenish your heart and keep you connected to the vine.

  • Heart Reflections: The Powerful Impact of Words

    Let no corrupt communication come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. –  Ephesians 4:29

    Ouch!  This is a hard one at times…  I read this verse a few days ago and I have continued to think about it as I plunge into another busy week.  Sometimes we forget how powerful of an impact our words have on others.  Are we encouraging our family and friends with kind words or we doing damage?

    It is hard to be positive and encouraging all the time.  Often I find myself regretting the words I spoke immediately after they were said.  Speaking poorly about another person does no good and in reality it only makes me look bad.  Complaining about the little inconveniences in my life only shows my discontent heart.  How I am suppose to be a shining light in a dark world, if my words are just as hurtful or hateful as the next persons?

    We are all human.  We make mistakes.  Things will happen that offend and upset us.  It feels natural to get defensive or to lash out against those who hurt us.  I find it very difficult to control my words especially when it comes to children (any kids, not just my own).  I think part of that is the mothering instinct, however, it is wise to consider our words prior to opening our mouths.  At times it may be best to wait to discuss something big after you’ve had time to pray about it and when it is more convenient for all parties involved.

    Will you pray with me asking God to give us the words to speak that may be good for building up and give grace to those who hear?  Let’s try with God’s help to be positive, encouraging, and speak kindly.  We don’t know what is going on in the hearts and lives of those around us but if we can control our tongue we may have more opportunities to be a blessing and make a positive impact on the life of someone else.

  • Heart Reflections: How do they do it?

    How do kids wear their clothes on backwards and not even notice it?  As an adult I would be so uncomfortable…..if I accidentally put my shirt on backwards it drives me nuts until was fixed.  When the girls were younger they would go an entire day at school with their shirt or pants on backwards and it didn’t bother them (even after several requests from me to correct the clothing). They didn’t have the extra motivation to switch it around because they really didn’t mind it being backwards.  It was rather hilarious seeing slipper slide marks and grass stains when they were going through the wash since they had worn them backwards all day.

    Recently I re-read a book that I had read many years ago.  When I read it years ago I loved the book.  I still enjoyed the book but there were pieces that stood out to me much more this time around, not necessarily because I missed it the first time around but because of the journey my life has taken the emotions the people in the book feel more real.

    I noticed those one or two sentences in the book where someone expressed sadness because they could not have children.  Read my  Loosening My Grip: Why Can’t I Get Pregnant series if you want to learn about our story.  I was disappointed and even sad when the characters in the book faced other hardships similar to those trials that I have gone through.  Many years ago when I first read this book it didn’t bother me because I didn’t have such a personal connection to what the people were going through.

    Now after all these years and many trials later it is more emotional to read the story.  Much like the girls when they were younger wearing their clothes inside out, it really didn’t bother them too much because they really didn’t know what it was suppose to feel like.  Over time they learned that wearing clothes backwards was uncomfortable much like those trials we go through that much us uncomfortable.

    Maybe….just….maybe God has us go through certain situations that make us uncomfortable so later when we encounter another person going through a similar trial we can be an encouragement to them.  We can cheer them on, share our story, and be a blessing to them during a hard time.  Isn’t that what life’s about anyway?  Using our gifts, talents, and what we have learned to make a positive impact on the lives of people around us.  Is there someone in your life that you can be an encouragement to today?

  • Heart Reflections: Finding Contentment

    Linda Dillow in her book Calm My Anxious Heart speaks of a missionary woman that lives in a mud hut in Africa.  When she asked the missionary how she was so content this is what she said:

    • Never allow yourself to complain about anything (not even the weather).
    • Never picture yourself in a different circumstance or someplace else.
    • Never compare your lot with the lot of another.
    • Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
    • Never dwell on tomorrow.  Remember it is God’s and not ours.

    A few months ago I had the opportunity to travel to India.  It was an amazing trip and I had a great time exploring several different areas.  I saw things while traveling that just broke my heart…people living on the street or under tarps, children who didn’t have their basic needs met, poverty, and much more.  On the flip side while in India I experienced the wonderful hospitality and generosity from the people we encountered (many who didn’t have a lot yet graciously shared).

    Traveling to India revealed a lot of things in my heart – one of them being how selfish and discontent I am even though I have been abundantly blessed.  I have food, family, clothes, shelter and even more yet some days I still complain.   I plan to use this list as a reminder to focus on the many blessings in my life so my heart will rejoice  and break the shackles of discontent that sometimes holds my heart captive.

    At times it can be difficult to be thankful for the many blessings we have in life.  Life doesn’t always go the way we expect.  I have a tendency to not only be discontent but to worry about the future or things out of my control.

    I could fill my house and heart with all kinds of stuff, worry, fear, or anything else yet by doing this it only grabs hold of my heart and hampers my effectiveness in ministering to the people around me.  Besides life here on earth is temporary and I cannot take stuff with me when its my time to go.  Let’s take some time today to think, pray, and count our blessings in our lives and find contentment in what really matters.

  • Heart Reflections: Is Anyone Cheerful?

    A few weeks ago I read a verse that stuck in my head.  The verse reminded me of the importance of praying for others and giving thanks not only for what is happening in our immediate families but for the lives of those we touch everyday.

    Is anyone among you suffering?

    There are people around you everyday that are suffering.  Some days you may be suffering as well.  When you meet with a friend, family member, or acquaintance that is going through a tough time what do you do?  It is wonderful to take time to listen and encourage.   What does the Bible say about those who are suffering?  The answer “let him pray”.  The best thing you can do when you are going through a trial or you know of someone who is suffering is to pray.

    Is anyone cheerful?

    There is so much negativity that surrounds us every day that it can sometimes be more difficult finding people who are cheerful.  Are we focusing on the positive blessings in our life everyday?  How are we encouraging those around us?  Is cheerfulness seen in your life?  The Bible says to “let him sing praise.”   When you are cheerful you may find yourself singing praises!

    Is anyone among you sick?

    It doesn’t take long to hear about someone who is going through an illness or suffering from an unknown sickness.  When you have a friend or family member with an illness it is important to pray for them and have others pray as well.  You may never know how much of an encouragement your prayers may be to those going through the sickness.  God can work miracles and bring healing through your prayers.

    Is anyone among you suffering?  Let him pray.  Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.  Is anyone among you sick?  Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. – James 5:13-14

    Photo by Candie_N

  • The Best Stuff in Life is FREE!

    I have come to learn that most treasured things in life really are “free”!  You cannot purchase these items and they come spontaneously and sincerely from the giver.  They are little wonderful gifts to those on the receiving end.  It is easy to get wrapped up in the day to day life and not realize that some of the best stuff that we can get in our lifetime is free.  These simple acts of kindness can be a huge blessing to us on a tough day.  As a Mom I am thankful for girls who freely and generously shower me with these blessings quite frequently.

    Here are some of the BEST things in my life that are free:

    • A hug from a child
    • Word of encouragement from a friend
    • Smile from a stranger
    • A handful of freshly picked dandelions, weeds, or flowers picked from the yard
    • Simple act of kindness
    • A handwritten note in the mail
    • And Many More Special Blessings

    I can think of so many more amazing blessings in my life that a free yet have a positive impact on my life as well as on the lives of others.  Another thought to consider is……how often do I give these gifts to others?  Often times it is when you demonstrate to your children, family and friends these blessing that you’ll see the ripple effect and eventually the other side of it.

    What are some ways you are a blessing to others?  Does it take much time or cost you too much to make a positive impact on the lives of the people around you?