• Three Ways Your Family can Welcome in a New Year!

    With a new year comes a lot of excitement!  The feeling of a fresh start in many areas of our lives, planning for future events and adventures, new goals, and more!  Everyday is a blessing!  While we welcome in the New Year don’t forget to reflect on the many blessings that you have enjoyed over the past year(s).  I encourage you to initiate a conversation with your family (it can be during a family dinner, game night, or any good time when everyone is present).  During this family time focus on these three things as a family to start off your New Year right.  This time together will make a positive impact on the hearts and lives of each individual family member and is worth it:

    1. Reflect back the fun memories and blessings of 2016!  Often the hardest part with this stage is getting the ball rolling.  Before the family time create a list of several good family memories to get it started.  Mention one and let others input their memories tied into that event as well as start adding their own memories.  Give everyone a chance who wants to talk the opportunity.  If there is a pause bring up a different memory to keep them going.  Before long you’ll be laughing and the kids will be bringing up memories connected to the event or new ones that you forgot about.  This is a wonderful way to end a year and begin a new one.
    2. Take a moment to think about the tough times over the past year! While the harder times are not easy to deal with or will bring back sadness or emotions they still have an impact on our lives.  Sometimes during these times of discussion you realize that a family member is still struggling with something.  Whether it is grief over a lost pet or loved one, anger, frustration, or something else.  This is a good time to gauge how everyone is doing and give you an opportunity to encourage each other or help those family members heal.  The love and support you receive from those around you can make an incredible impact on your life as you continue to move forward.  Knowing you are not alone, you are loved, and you have a team of people who want to help you can help the family member heal more quickly.  (Do not use this time to point out problems with each other, but to talk about harder times and to encourage.  Some topics made need to be tabled for a later and more lengthy conversation)  It will give you a good insight into your children and some ideas of what to help encourage them with over the next few weeks as they continue to grow and heal.
    3. Look ahead! As one year wraps up and a new one begins it is a great time to set some goals both personally and as a family.  Use this time to set family goals together.  There may be some activities that the kids have been wanting to do, but you have been letting it slip not even realizing that it was very important to them.  The goals discussed during this family  time should be family related, although they most definitely have a personal impact on each family member.  Write these goals down and review them weekly or monthly or regularly throughout the year to remind the family members of what is important to the family as a whole.  This also provides a lead in for each of the members to think about their personal goals.  It allows a great opportunity to have a group of people focused on similar goals and encouraging each other along the way.  Some family goal ideas (eat healthier, regular family game night, monthly date night with spouse and each child, daily family devotions, learn a new skill together, plan a family vacation, weekly family night, quarterly family service project, etc…).  Make a point to write the ideas down and either make a decision that day or within a few days on the family goals.  Type up a list, print it or email it to each family member so that they can be reminded of the ways your family is working together to create stronger bonds, happy memories, and improving lives.

    Setting aside a time when everyone is together can be difficult, however it is important.  It can be during a family dinner, game night, or another time when the family is together.  Make sure it is a convenient time with as little distractions as possible.  A time when everyone is more relaxed (not hungry, ready for bed, or trying to multi-task while having this conversation).  The reflecting on memories helps create a happy bond, the tough times allow family members to see that they are not alone and have the support of people who love them, and looking ahead gives you the opportunity to improve and grow into a better individuals and family unit.  If you do write down the family goals please do your best to follow through as much as possible because these goals are important to the members.

    Life has a way of staying busy.  Taking the time to spending reflecting on good memories as a way has a way of bringing everyone together.  It may cause some laughter, tears, and healing.  It is good to be reminded of the many blessings in our life and to realize that we are journeying through this life together.   Yes, we make mistakes along the way, but we can can make the best of it and have a lot of fun too.  Many blessings to you and your family this 2017 New Year!!!

  • Relationships: Granting Your Spouse Permission to Help YOU Heal

    Karlie - Red Rose FlowerRose picked by Jake from the Mother’s Day bush Karlie gave me last year! Beautiful!

    I am blessed to have a loving husband.  He takes great care of me and the girls, loves me despite my faults, pitches in around the house, always seeking ways to teach our girls, and intentionally invests regularly time and energy into our relationship and our family.

    Yet for some reason when I am tired, hurting, or discouraged he is the first person I tend to lash out at.  Is it because he is near?  Or is it that I trust he will continue loving me as he helps me get through the moments of hurt?  Is it that he is the first person who notices that I am struggling?  Is it because I allow “little stuff” to build up, get emotional, and blow the “little stuff” way out of proportion?  Or is it a complex multitude of feelings and connections of life that make me think it is acceptable to snap at someone truly trying to lovingly help me?

    Life is tough.  It would be a lie to say that I have not gone through a multitude of various emotions over the past few months.  My girls are growing up so quickly and my Momma’s heart is rejoicing yet broken over it at the same time.  I have not invested the time and energy into relationships that are important to me.  It has been a struggle to balance life, schedules, and times to the point that some days I feel like I am messing up everything or falling short. It feels like there are days when I am rushing through life and trying to just get what has to be accomplished done only to crash at night and re-start the process all over again the next day.

    How can I be an encouraging, positive, loving light, sharing God’s grace with those around me when I feel like the walls are falling in on me?  I have been praying specifically that God would break down the walls I have built up around my heart, revealed those areas I need to heal and repair, fill the holes that are plugged with the wrong motives, and work in my life, however, it is at times a very painful process.

    When an animal is hurting they tend to find a safe place and withdraw into themselves.  If you approach a hurt animal when they are in that safe place or feel like they are backed into a corner they have a tendency to snap at anyone reaching out to help them.  Their eyes are clouded with hurt or pain, their defenses are up, and they don’t know what to do so they react in anger at anyone trying to help because it is hard for them to distinguish between someone who is trying to hurt and a person who is trying to help.  I am sure vets or people who work with animals see this all the time.  The animal wants to be alone in their pain, lick their wounds, and retreat to safety even though it it not the best action if they truly want to heal.

    As humans we cannot and should not react the same way as an animal would.  We are built to value and crave relationships.  Some of our relationships may be healthy while others are pulling us down.  We cannot be everything to everybody, it’s impossible, yet we can make an impact on the lives we touch.  Starting with our relationship with Christ, spreading to our spouses, children, and reaching out to family, friends, co-workers, and others that we interact with in our lives.  It always works best when we are living our life looking for strength, encouragement, and wisdom from the top and allowing it to filter down through our lives to the people we have the privilege of loving and living life beside.

    Take time this week to spend time pray.  Investigate your heart, reflect on your relationships, and start the process of breaking down the barriers we have created to falsely shield us.  Those barriers are really just holding us back and blocking those who truly love and want to help us.  Allow your spouse and others to speak truth into your life.

  • Mother’s Day Celebration!

    Happy Mother's Day! Family Picture!My family

    Thankful for an opportunity to be a Mom! Being a Mom is an amazing honor and privilege that quite frankly scares me some days.  It’s good to know that the call of Motherhood is not a place for us to be alone, but a place where we get the opportunity to live life alongside other Mothers and sisters who can pray, encourage, and support each other throughout this incredible journey.

    I am thankful for my Mother and the many Mothers and sisters in my life that continue to make an impact on my heart.  We live in a broken world full of broken people therefore it is impossible to be perfect and being a Mom tends to make that oh so clear.  It is essential and refreshing to have people who are willing to speak truth and love into your life on a regular basis.  I am grateful for each and every one of these ladies in my life.

    Mother's Day - Breakfast in Bed

     Breakfast in bed – fresh cherries, fresh pineapple, yogurt, and an omelet (ham, cheese, mushroom, spinach, and tomatoes)!  Delicious!

    Jake and the girls made my Mother’s Day extra special.  I received breakfast in bed, hugs, and well wishes.  After breakfast we went to church together and heard a powerful message that hit home in my heart.  When we got home Jake and the girls (okay, mostly Jake) made an amazing lunch followed by a relaxing evening.  The girls gave me sweet cards, beautiful flowers, a blueberry bush, a swing cushion, and other goodies.

    It is not always easy being a Mom, however, there are more good days and great memories than I can count.  Some days are a little tough and I get frustrated with myself for not being able to do better, but I never regret becoming a Mom.  Motherhood is one of life’s greatest gifts and callings.  It is an honor and a little scary at times raising kids.

    Although life gets a little crazy at times I wouldn’t change it for anything.  It has been a wonderful gift seeing these two little blessings grow up.  They continue to amaze me and it is awesome seeing them use their talents.

    Happy Mother's Day

    One of the several beautiful and Sweet Mother’s Day signs.  This one is from Karlie and I discovered it sitting on my desk!  Love my girls!

  • Boy Oh Boy – NICU Time with Sweet Kaelan

    'Meeting sweet Little Pumpkin for the first time!  Brings back so many memories of NICU!'

    Recently, I had the opportunity to spend a week in Colorado with family. My cousin Renelle Broughton (who is like a sister to me) had her little one early and was spending a big part of each day in NICU. I was able to spend time with her, her husband Eric, and their new sweet little one Kaelan! It was a precious time for me.

    Words cannot express how honored and truly amazing it was me to spend time with this awesome Momma, caring Dad, and adorable little guy. Not to mention to have the chance to experience NICU from a totally different perspective from when the girls were in it over 10 years ago. Kaelan won my heart immediately and I am grateful for Renelle and Eric opening their home, sharing their precious boy with me, and everything during that crazy busy week.

    Thankful for a chance to spend some extra time with my Aunt, Uncle, cousins, my parents, and other extended family over the weekend as well! Wish I lived closer to see them and their little guy grow up. Love you guys! Lots of hugs, kisses, and prayers always from South Carolina! Thankful for an awesome husband Jake Hayes for taking good care of our two chickies while I was in Colorado that week!

    'The goodies we put together for Kaelan!'
    Goodies for Kaelan!
    'Momma waking him up for the next feeding!'
    Renelle is like a sister to me and it was wonderful spending the week with her.
    'The most adorable little feet!  He was not too happy with us doing the footprints, but we got it done!'
    He was not happy about getting his footprints done and into the baby book, but his tiny little toes looked so stinkin cute afterwards!
    'He was a trooper taking his bottles!'
    Precious time with Renelle and her sweet little bundle of joy.  I cannot tell you how amazing this week was for me to spend with her, Eric, and her adorable baby boy!
  • Song: Greater by MercyMe

    What a wonderful reminder that He is so much greater than our mistakes!  Thankful for a Heavenly Father that shows me grace everyday.  Sometimes I struggle with “what would people think” rather than being secure in Christ and graciously allowing him to free me from those fears or doubt.  So glad He really is greater!

    Bring your tired
    Bring your shame
    Bring your guilt
    Bring your pain
    Don’t you know that’s not you’re name
    You will always be much more to me

    Every day I wrestle with the voices
    That keep telling me I’m not right
    But that’s alright

    ‘Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed
    When others say I’ll never be enough
    And greater is the One living inside of me
    Than he who is living in the world
    In the world
    In the world
    And greater is the One living inside of me
    Than he who is living in the world

    Bring your doubts
    Bring your fears
    Bring your hurt
    Bring your tears
    There’ll be no condemnation here
    You are holy, righteous and redeemed

    Every time I fall
    There’ll be those who will call me
    A mistake
    Well that’s ok

    There’ll be days I lose the battle
    Grace says that it doesn’t matter
    ‘Cause the cross already won the war
    He’s Greater
    He’s Greater

  • Heart Reflections: You Are My Glue

    God, you are the glue
    that holds my life together.
     
    When schedules get interrupted,
    things don’t go as planned,
    and life seems to be coming at me from all directions
    You are what keeps me from coming apart at the seams.
     
    On those days when I am exhausted
    and it takes everything in me to keep moving forward.
    You give me the strength and energy to face what lies ahead of me.
     
    When it feels like I am spinning my wheels
    and getting no where fast.
    You give me a new perspective.
     
    God thank you for being my glue.
    For loving me especially when I don’t deserve it.
    For bringing a song to my heart for encouragement when I need it most.
    For reminding me of your word and promises.
    For revealing your truth in unique and amazing ways.
    For the countless ways you shower me with your mercy and grace over and over again.
    Thank you God for holding my heart and life gently in your hands.
    May I continue to trust as you mold and make me into the person you want me to be.
  • Heart Reflections: You Can Do Nothing

    I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. – John 15:5

    I am in the process of reading several books right now and I came across this verse twice last week (probably a subtle hint or gentle reminder for me, hmmm…).  It is one that I have read many times throughout the years but the part that really struck me this time around was “apart from me you can do nothing”.   So all the time I spend trying to accomplish tasks in my own strength is worth nothing?  I really don’t want to waste my time, do you?

    How often do I try to do everything in my own strength or at least I want to feel like have some sort of control over what’s going on in my life?   More often then I want to admit!  What I really need to focus on is staying connected to the vine and drawing my strength, nourishment, support, and guidance from the one who really is in control of my life.

    Our family has grown many gardens so I am aware of the plant growing process.  When a piece of the branch or plant gets separated from the vine it dries up and ceases to produce any more fruit.  The vine is what brings the nutrients from the roots to the branches without it there would be no fruit. I don’t want to shrivel up, but rather I want to grow, flourish, and thrive producing a lot of fruit.  The main question to myself is – am I taking the steps to have that good fruit in my life by drawing my nutrition from the vine or am I starting to shrivel?

    I am praying that this verse will be a reminder to all of us of how important it is that we get our daily strength from the vine.  No matter what your circumstance is today you can be encouraged that God is in control and he will give you the nourishment you need for today.  Eventually you will be begin to God working through your heart and life to produce an abundance of beautiful fruit.  Take little steps today and start drawing nourishment from the vine.  Spend some time  praying, listening to a sermon, reading the scriptures, or singing praise and worship songs to help replenish your heart and keep you connected to the vine.

  • Heart Reflections: The Powerful Impact of Words

    Let no corrupt communication come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. –  Ephesians 4:29

    Ouch!  This is a hard one at times…  I read this verse a few days ago and I have continued to think about it as I plunge into another busy week.  Sometimes we forget how powerful of an impact our words have on others.  Are we encouraging our family and friends with kind words or we doing damage?

    It is hard to be positive and encouraging all the time.  Often I find myself regretting the words I spoke immediately after they were said.  Speaking poorly about another person does no good and in reality it only makes me look bad.  Complaining about the little inconveniences in my life only shows my discontent heart.  How I am suppose to be a shining light in a dark world, if my words are just as hurtful or hateful as the next persons?

    We are all human.  We make mistakes.  Things will happen that offend and upset us.  It feels natural to get defensive or to lash out against those who hurt us.  I find it very difficult to control my words especially when it comes to children (any kids, not just my own).  I think part of that is the mothering instinct, however, it is wise to consider our words prior to opening our mouths.  At times it may be best to wait to discuss something big after you’ve had time to pray about it and when it is more convenient for all parties involved.

    Will you pray with me asking God to give us the words to speak that may be good for building up and give grace to those who hear?  Let’s try with God’s help to be positive, encouraging, and speak kindly.  We don’t know what is going on in the hearts and lives of those around us but if we can control our tongue we may have more opportunities to be a blessing and make a positive impact on the life of someone else.