Heart Reflections

  • Book: “The God Pocket” by Bruce Wilkinson

    I recently finished reading The God Pocket by Bruce Wilkinson.  About a month ago I finished his You Were Born For This book so this was a great one to read next because it went into more detail on his concept of  “The God Pocket”.  Throughout the book he uses the phrase “He Owns It.  You carry it.  Suddenly, everything changes” which means you have a certain amount of money (in addition to what you set aside for tithing and offering) that you place in a special place in your wallet or envelope and you dedicate it to God.  When you feel led by God (or nudged) then you give the amount God has laid on your heart to the person you have been directed to.

    The God Pocket is extra money that you have set aside to deliver a financial blessing to those whom come to your attention.  The money is no longer yours to use or borrow from once it is dedicated to God.  It is important that you pray for discernment for who the money should be given to in your God Pocket.  Sometimes you’ll be led the day you put it into the pocket other times it may be days, weeks, or months before the person who you are asked to give it to comes across your path.

    Wilkinson shares a variety of stories about people who have experience the blessing of delivering their God Pocket funds.  Many of those people have been blessed through their extra giving, although it is not guarantee that if you give extra money away that you are promised the exact amount or more in return from God.    For example the author used this following verse:

    Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will repay him for his deed. – Proverbs 17:19

    This is a wonderful verse and it does say that the Lord will repay for the deed, however, it does not say that he will repay financially or even while we are on this earth.    Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven…. Matthew 5:12  I think the concept of giving to others is awesome as long as we do not do it with the expectation of being repaid or over abundantly rewarded for our effort here on earth.  We may see some benefits of sharing with others including mentorship opportunities, sharing the good news, and the blessing of knowing that God has allowed you to share a miracle with someone who was hurting or in need.  It is the most valuable when we give from the heart while giving ALL the credit to God.  It is not called “The Me Pocket” it is called “The God Pocket” for that specific reason.  You are carrying it to be a blessing to someone and allow God to work in their hearts not to take the praise for yourself.

    The author walks you through seven steps for delivering “The God Pocket” funds:

    • Decide and pray regarding the amount you will put into “The God Pocket”.
    • Devote the money directly to God.
    • Deposit the devoted amount into your God Pocket.
    • Depend on God to lead you to the exact person He wants you to give the gift to.
    • Deliver God’s funds to the recipient
    • Declare who the true giver of the funds is, transfer the all credit for the funds directly to God
    • Disciple the person who you have given the God Pocket funds to so they can start a relationship or strengthen their relationship with God and they may in return deliver a God Pocket to another person in need.

    The book is short and can be read pretty quickly. Overall I like the concept the author was trying to get across to the readers.  In a couple places the author pushed a little bit regarding using his specifically design “God Pockets” and even gave a few examples of how people used the ones he designed.  That’s okay if you want to use them but the point isn’t if you use a plain envelope or a fancy leather God Pocket, it is that you are willing to be used by God to bring blessings to those around you.   I think it is a great idea to prayfully seek out opportunities to minister to others in need as long as the credit is given to God. 

    Rate my review & be entered into a giveaway: I reviewed this book for “Blogging for Books.”   By rating my review, it allows me to choose another book and enters you in a GIVEAWAY!   The rating is a two step process.

    Step 1:  Rate my review below (select the number of stars, enter your email, and hit submit).

    Step 2:  Check your email account for a message from Blogging for Books and click their link to verify your email.

    Once you rated my review AND confirmed your email, you will automatically entered in a giveaway for this book by WaterBrook Multnomah!!!  They will pick one person to receive a copy of the book for themselves!  WaterBrook Multnomah will contact the winner directly.

    Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes from the publisher through the Waterhouse Multnomah.  The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

  • Heart Reflections: Giving from the Heart

    The gifts that Karlie and Brina wrapped up for their friends.

    The other day I had two pieces of left over wrapping paper from a baby shower gift that I gave to the girls to use.  They were busy for about thirty minutes in the dining room talking and wrapping their goodies.  Later I found out they had wrapped up a few small toys to give to a friend that they heard was moving because his parents were having financial problems.  Now the girls didn’t really understand much about what type of the financial problems but they did understand that their friend was having to sell some of his toys because of the move and family situation.  Without any prompting on mine or Jake’s part the girls carefully selected some special toys he would like (silly bands, match box cars, pencils, stickers, and a couple more items), wrapped them up, and brought the gifts in  for us to see.

    It was only when they brought us the completely wrapped gifts that we found out who they were planning on giving them to.  My heart overflowed with joy to know that the girls were willing to part with a few treasured toys to help a friend in need.  They were not just giving any toy, they were trying to find some of their favorite toys to give away.

    How often to I unconditionally give of my best to others?  Do I give from the heart or is it to receive notice or out of the feeling of obligation?  The most wonderful gift comes from the heart with no strings attached much like the greatest gift we have ever been given.  I am thankful for a Savior who gave his life for me and for girls who remind me of what it is like to give generously from the heart to those around us.

    Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God

    which He has given you. – Deuteronomy 16:17

  • Loosening My Grip: Why Can’t I Get Pregnant? (Part 4)

    You can read “Why Can’t I Get Pregnant” Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3 in case you missed it.

    As my journey continued I was encouraged by friends, began to rely more on prayer, allowed God to loosen my grip on that which I held onto so tightly.

    Multiple Blessings

    Shortly after taking the pregnancy test we called the fertility doctor and I went in for blood work that week.  That afternoon they called me back and wanted me to come back in to do some more blood work and an ultrasound.  I asked what was wrong with the blood work from earlier and they informed me that my counts were higher than they expected.  Of course they reassured me that there was nothing to be concerned about but I still had a vice gripping at my heart…..what if…..somethings wrong…..was this what God was preparing us for…….  Jake went with me to the doctor, they did more blood work, and then I went in for the ultrasound.  The technician quickly found the baby’s heartbeat and showed us our little one and as she moved over a little bit we noticed a second heartbeat and another baby. WHAT!?  The technician said she needed to check and see if there was a third baby and Jake said I gripped his hand tightly and my face went white.  Thankfully God knows exactly what we can handle and give me two beautiful babies.  I praise him for this amazing answer to prayer in my life.  It was a character developing process to get to this point but little did I know that God was not done with me yet.

    The Heartache Was Real

    As I look back I can still sense the pain and heartache that I went through over those years earnestly praying for children.  God chose to answer our prayers but after much pruning in both of our lives.  When I first went to God asking for a child my whole hand was gripped around having a child and he had to loosen my grip one finger at a time.  There were times it was very painful and I didn’t want to let go but slowly I did and after all the heartache the blessings were even more numerous than I could ever imagined.  The timing God chose was perfect in many aspects of our lives including our jobs to insurance to family situation and more.  God not only answered my specific prayers he also revealed his perfect timing in our lives.

    Questions

    Here are some of the questions I found myself struggling with during this time in my life:

    • Why Can’t I Get Pregnant?
    • What’s Wrong with Me?
    • Why Would God Give Me this Desire and Not Fulfill It?
    • Is God Going to Answer My Prayers?
    • Does God Hear Me?
    • Am I Not Good Enough to be  Mom?

    If you are going through the heartache and asking yourself any of these questions and/or more my heart and prayers go out to you.  I know it hurts.  There are more people than you realize who are going through a similar situation.

    You Are Not Alone

    I want to let you know, You Are NOT ALONE!  Many couples experience similar journeys.  Take time to pray and share with your close family, friends, and mentors.  Allow them to come alongside you and pray with you.  God can work a miracle in our lives if we let go of those specific items we are holding onto so tightly.  Not only is His timing truly amazing he has something special planned for your life and for the lives of your children.  My heart and prayers go out to you and if I could reach through the computer and give you a hug I would do it in a heartbeat.  It’s okay to cry, talk about it, and slowly start loosening your grip so you can see what amazing plans God has for your life.

    This concludes my “Why Can’t I Get Pregnant?” series, however, stayed tuned for the next Loosening My Grip series.

    A little bit more about the Loosening My Grip series

    Looking back over the last few years it is much easier to see God’s perfect timing.  It was painful waiting, having people constantly ask questions, going to the doctor, praying, dealing with the emotions, and feeling like God didn’t even care.

    After much prayer and resistance I have decided to start my “Loosening My Grip” series.  I came up with the theme and idea more than a year ago.  Every time I start to write a little more on this topic I decide to just not do it.  Why?

    • It is personal
    • I still struggle with many issues in my life and continue to learn of more areas that I need to loosen my grip on
    • The feeling of inadequacy to write on the topic
    • No one else probably has these issues nor would they want to read about mine

    God has been working overtime on me to do it even though my flesh says stay away from certain areas.  It is difficult writing about those topics that are really near and dear to our hearts.  Most likely the series will not always go in chronological order because I am writing the topics as God lays them on my heart to write.  Maybe there is someone out there that has experienced similar struggles or is currently going through this situation in their life.  I hope to be an encouragement to you.  I want you know that you’re not alone; we have strength and support from a God that is so much bigger than any one of us.

    Loosening My Grip is a series on areas in my life I am learning to let go of slowly.  Several months ago I was studying Jonah and one of the phrases popped out at me was “Whatever you are holding on to in this life, hold it loosely so it won’t hurt when the Lord has to pry your fingers open to take it away.”  I have found that in some areas God has had to pry my fingers off of whatever I am holding onto one finger at a time.  There are areas in my life that I feel like I need control over and hold onto them tightly when God really has something so much more beautiful in store for me.  I have been learning how to let go and hold onto things more loosely so God can do His work in my life.

    Photo by Downstairs Dev

  • Loosening My Grip: Why Can’t I Get Pregnant? (Part 3)

    You can read “Why Can’t I Get Pregnant” Part 1  and Part 2 in case you missed it.

    Through the journey I have seen God answer prayers and guide my life in the direction of people who could help.  Even though God was continuing to work in my life the process at times was painful.

    Time of Encouragement

    During the Case Study I had to be at the Life Center three days a week at 5 am for 12 weeks to stretch, work out, turn in our journals, and a variety of other activities and discussions.  In many ways the 12 week Case Study was a time of healing and encouragement.  I was spending several hours a week with women who knew exactly what I was going through.  I continued doing the case study and finished it. It was a wonderful experience and it encouraged me to open up to others as well.  When I started talking a little bit more about my situation I found out that I wasn’t alone and many women struggle with not being able to pregnant every day.  It is often a difficult topic to discuss with people, even close friends and family.

    Learning to Rely on Prayer

    Jake and I had continued praying for a child.  One night at Dinner we were discussing the journey that God had taken us on throughout our marriage and I asked Jake “Do you think we are praying the wrong prayer?”  I know it sounds bizarre but I just felt God working in my heart specifically in this area of our lives.  Thankfully I have a husband who I can speak openly and honestly with about my thoughts and struggles. “What if we only have one opportunity to have a child?”  I was willing to change my prayer even after the years of praying for a child if that is what God wanted from me.   “Maybe we need to ask God specifically for children?”  We decided that God had directed our paths to this point it was worth trusting him on this as well and began praying that God would give us children.

    Loosening My Grip One Finger at a Time

    Jake and I prayed fervently about having children.  We committed our children (that we still did not have) to God because He knows best and if for whatever reason he did not give us children biologically there were other options to consider.  We were at that point in the journey where we were completely okay with considering adoption.  It was a time of strengthening our marriage, prayer life, and realizing that God was in control so we could let it go. After much discussion we decided we would enjoy another year together trying and reevaluate after a year what we felt like God was leading us to do regarding our children.

    Joyful Anticipation

    A month later I was exhausted, Jake was convinced that I was pregnant so like many times before I took a pregnancy test and it was negative.  I was sad, my heart hurt, why is God taking me on such a roller coaster?  I would get excited thinking I was pregnant, take the test, and no.  After another week of exhaustion and dreaming about food (specifically meatballs, yet another story) Jake suggested that I take another test.  I delayed another few days because I didn’t want to see another negative test (and the tests are expensive).  Finally I decided I might as well do it so I could let Jake know I took another test.  I was convinced it would be negative so I didn’t even bother to wait for the test results and went ahead with my shower.  When I got out of the shower I looked at the test and couldn’t believe my eyes.  I went and got Jake, showed it to him and rejoiced in our answer to prayer.  At this point in the journey I had a lot of mixed emotions that day from complete joy to relief to uneasiness (what if the test was wrong)?!

    ……this series will be continued next Wednesday!

    A little bit more about the Loosening My Grip series

    Looking back over the last few years it is much easier to see God’s perfect timing.  It was painful waiting, having people constantly ask questions, going to the doctor, praying, dealing with the emotions, and feeling like God didn’t even care.

    After much prayer and resistance I have decided to start my “Loosening My Grip” series.  I came up with the theme and idea more than a year ago.  Every time I start to write a little more on this topic I decide to just not do it.  Why?

    • It is personal
    • I still struggle with many issues in my life and continue to learn of more areas that I need to loosen my grip on
    • The feeling of inadequacy to write on the topic
    • No one else probably has these issues nor would they want to read about mine

    God has been working overtime on me to do it even though my flesh says stay away from certain areas.  It is difficult writing about those topics that are really near and dear to our hearts.  Most likely the series will not always go in chronological order because I am writing the topics as God lays them on my heart to write.  Maybe there is someone out there that has experienced similar struggles or is currently going through this situation in their life.  I hope to be an encouragement to you.  I want you know that you’re not alone; we have strength and support from a God that is so much bigger than any one of us.

    Loosening My Grip is a series on areas in my life I am learning to let go of slowly.  Several months ago I was studying Jonah and one of the phrases popped out at me was “Whatever you are holding on to in this life, hold it loosely so it won’t hurt when the Lord has to pry your fingers open to take it away.”  I have found that in some areas God has had to pry my fingers off of whatever I am holding onto one finger at a time.  There are areas in my life that I feel like I need control over and hold onto them tightly when God really has something so much more beautiful in store for me.  I have been learning how to let go and hold onto things more loosely so God can do His work in my life.

    Photo by Downstairs Dev

  • Loosening My Grip: Why Can’t I Get Pregnant? (Part 2)

    If you missed it, you can read “Why Can’t I Get Pregnant” Part 1.

    Now that I have learned to let go of my personal agenda, that I will not always receive clear answers, doctors can be puzzled, and to rejoice with others even when my heart is heavy I can continue onto the next phase which I had been longing for right?

    Learning to Share with to Others

    After three years of trying to have children and the emotional roller coaster I was getting discouraged.  We did everything the doctors told us to do yet still no children.  At this point I decided to start praying specifically for a person I could talk to about what I was going through.  When certain people would bring up the tough topic I would share a little bit about what we were going through.  Although, they were extremely compassionate and many began praying along with me none of them had been through similar situations.  I found out that several of my friends and family members had experienced miscarriages which is another equally emotional situation when you are trying to start a family.  One beautiful lesson I learned during this time in my life is by opening up my heart to others it gave them the confidence to share their own struggles.  Even though my struggles were different it allowed me to pray for others while going through a tough season myself.  Each person has their own set of items they are learning to loosen their grip on and by praying for others it took my focus off myself so I could be an encouragement to those around me.

    Power of Praying Friends

    By opening my heart to a few people it did ease some of the hurt I was feeling.  Some days were still tough but at least I had a network of people praying for us as a couple and as a family.  I felt like my OB wasn’t interested in helping and when I would call his office I would get the nurse’s voice mail after several prompts and since I wasn’t pregnant, scheduling or an emergency many times the nurse would never call me back.  When you have a group of people praying with you the direction seems so much clearer.  At this point in the journey I knew it was time to consider seeing another doctor.

    Miracle of Answered Prayers

    A few months later after much prayer I decided to ask Jake’s cousin, Mandy, who was a local nurse for recommendations on OB’s doctors.  Mandy was truly an answer to prayer.  She is a nurse and knew a lot of doctors so she had a better idea of where to direct me.  I ended up going to one of the OB’s she recommended.  Mandy was more of an encouragement then she’ll probably ever know during this season in my life.  God used her to guide me to the professional doctors I needed in my life during this time.

    A Fresh Perspective

    The new doctor was great, listened, and recommended I at least consider meeting with a fertility doctor.  We met with the fertility doctor and he was very positive, however, wanted to do more tests.  Then wait a few months. One of the recommendations he made to us was for me to consider finding a less stressful career.  I was working long hours at an attorney’s office and Jake had been encouraging me to look for something less stressful as well, but I didn’t want to stop working until after I had kids (yet another area I was attempting to control in my life).  Also, during this time we were made aware that the prescription I was given by my previous OB was 4 times stronger than what I should have been taking (which is why I was so sick).  Thankfully, God worked in that situation and gave us wisdom to stop taking it.

    Difficult Decisions

    After seeing the doctor Jake and I prayed about my work situation again and decided (reluctantly at first) that I should quit and look for something part time that was less stressful.  It was difficult giving up a job that I worked so hard at but at the same time if I wanted a family it was something I needed to do.   A couple months later I found a really neat part time position that was great and more laid back, yet another amazing answer to prayer.

    A New Opportunity

    During that waiting period Mandy approached me and told me about a new Case Study a friend of hers was doing called “Fit & Fertile” and it was being led by the fertility doctor I met several months before.  The study was on changing your diet, exercise, and lower stress level to see if a series of non-medicated changes could help women get pregnant.  In that group I met amazing women that were experiencing similar situations.  Some of them already had one child but couldn’t have a second and others were like me and were unable to get pregnant even the first time.  The nurse and doctor did blood work before and after the study but otherwise that was it.  I was a little weary of the case study working but God had obviously directed me to it so I had to follow through with it trusting He knew what was best for me.

    ……this series will be continued next Wednesday!

    A little bit more about the Loosening My Grip series

    Looking back over the last few years it is much easier to see God’s perfect timing.  It was painful waiting, having people constantly ask questions, going to the doctor, praying, dealing with the emotions, and feeling like God didn’t even care.

    After much prayer and resistance I have decided to start my “Loosening My Grip” series.  I came up with the theme and idea more than a year ago.  Every time I start to write a little more on this topic I decide to just not do it.  Why?

    • It is personal
    • I still struggle with many issues in my life and continue to learn of more areas that I need to loosen my grip on
    • The feeling of inadequacy to write on the topic
    • No one else probably has these issues nor would they want to read about mine

    God has been working overtime on me to do it even though my flesh says stay away from certain areas.  It is difficult writing about those topics that are really near and dear to our hearts.  Most likely the series will not always go in chronological order because I am writing the topics as God lays them on my heart to write.  Maybe there is someone out there that has experienced similar struggles or is currently going through this situation in their life.  I hope to be an encouragement to you.  I want you know that you’re not alone; we have strength and support from a God that is so much bigger than any one of us.

    Loosening My Grip is a series on areas in my life I am learning to let go of slowly.  Several months ago I was studying Jonah and one of the phrases popped out at me was “Whatever you are holding on to in this life, hold it loosely so it won’t hurt when the Lord has to pry your fingers open to take it away.”  I have found that in some areas God has had to pry my fingers off of whatever I am holding onto one finger at a time.  There are areas in my life that I feel like I need control over and hold onto them tightly when God really has something so much more beautiful in store for me.  I have been learning how to let go and hold onto things more loosely so God can do His work in my life.

    Photo by Downstairs Dev

  • Book: “You Were Born for This” by Bruce Wilkinson

    I recently finished the book “You Were Born for This”  Seven Keys to a Life of Predictable Miracles by Bruce Wilkinson.  In his book Bruce shares several stories of how God was able to use him to encourage believers as well as lead others to Christ.  He goes through ways that you can be guided by the Holy Spirit to deliver a miracle to another person.  There are four main parts to the book:

    • Welcome to Everyday Miracle Territory
    • Four Keys to a Life of Miracles
    • How to Deliver a Miracle
    • Three Keys to Special Delivery Miracles

    Bruce Wilkinson puts in a number of examples and stories of how he was used to deliver a miracle.  Included in the back of the book is a Epilogue with more stories from readers of his book.  If you want to go through the book with a group he provides discussion questions for either a four week or seven week study.

    I thought the book had a lot of great reminders of how important prayer is in our life and to be in tune with the Holy Spirit because you never know when you have the opportunity to share with someone.  Bruce also addresses that we often fear speaking directly to a stranger about something personal and will question the prompting we feel or justify a reason for not stepping up with excuses such as “Who Me?” or “Do What?” or “What Will They Think?”

    The author gives several step by step ways to learn how to act on these miracle missions from prayer, having the heart for people, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you, and taking risks of faith.  I think we all have those moments when out of the blue we think of someone and fail to act on that prompting only to find out later that the person was going through a tough time; what an amazing blessing of encouragement we could have been if we had just called, written that letter, emailed or stopped by to see them.  Wouldn’t it be great living a life full of sharing blessings with those around you.  We do not know what the person next to us is going through at the moment.  A simple question like “I really want to help you.  What can I do for you?” can open the door for you to encourage someone.

    A handful of my favorite  quotes from the book:

    “I’ve noticed something reassuring. When we ask to be sent by God, He matches each of us with people we can help.”

    “A nudge is an inner push that directs us toward a person, a place, or an action.”

    “During a God arranged encounter you will know what God wants”

    “Knowing that we are sent, we take deliberate risks that place us in complete dependence on God for a miracle.”

    Rate my review & be entered into a giveaway: I reviewed this book for “Blogging for Books.”   By rating my review, it allows me to choose another book and enters you in a GIVEAWAY!   The rating is a two step process.

    Step 1:  Rate my review below (select the number of stars, enter your email, and hit submit).

    Step 2:  Check your email account for a message from Blogging for Books and click their link to verify your email.

    Once you rated my review AND confirmed your email, you will automatically entered in a giveaway for this book by WaterBrook Multnomah!!!  They will pick one person to receive a copy of the book for themselves!  WaterBrook Multnomah will contact the winner directly.

    Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes from the publisher through the Waterhouse Multnomah.  The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

  • Loosening My Grip: Why Can’t I Get Pregnant?

    Having kids was always something I looked forward to in my life.  Thankfully, I married an amazing man who wanted a family as well.  Jake and I were very excited when we decided it was time in our marriage to expand our family.  Although we thought it was the perfect time for us to start a family of our own we quickly realized that God had other plans for our lives.

    Letting Go of My Personal Agenda

    It is funny how we make up the “ideal” time line in our head of how life should happen because we want to feel in control of the situation and schedule, but God often has other plans in mind for us.  At this point in our marriage Jake was a developer at a local telecom company and I was working for a real estate attorney.  Although, our careers kept us busy they also provided extra stress in our lives.  It was hard letting go of my personal agenda regarding having children and allowing God to prune areas of my life during this season.

    We Don’t Always Get a Clear Answer

    I wanted to have children, and I believe God gives us those desires in life,  even though we couldn’t get pregnant.  When I pray for something so fervently and specifically it is hard understand or know why God chooses at certain times to say “No” or “Not Now”.  The first several months it didn’t bother me too much I would let it roll off while thinking it’s not a big deal maybe next month.  In the meantime I am surrounded by wonderful friends and family members that were getting pregnant by just looking at their spouses (not really but it wasn’t a struggle for them).  As I was celebrating in their joy month after month then year after year it became more difficult for me.  I would be at the grocery store standing in line and a complete stranger next to me would be complaining about “being pregnant” or “what I am suppose to do with another kid”  or “kids are just extra stress in your marriage be thankful you don’t have any” or screaming at their kids; each time it was like a knife piercing into my heart just hearing those words or seeing the interactions.

    Even Doctors Can Be Puzzled

    After about a year Jake and I decided that I should talk to my Ob at my regular visit.  The older Doctor was nice about it but just smiled and said it will take time.  A year later he was still saying the same thing but he went ahead and prescribed some medicine for me to take to help increase my chances of getting pregnant which made my husband and I hopeful.  The medicine ended up making me really sick and after several weeks the doctor said to just stop taking it and wait…….again.

    Rejoicing with Others When Your Heart is Heavy

    By the time Jake and I had been married several years most of our close friends had already had a baby or more and people (both friends and family) began asking that dreaded question……. “When do you think you’ll have kids?” and/or “Are planning on having kids?”  Completely innocent conversational questions right?!  Not necessarily, the first time I was asked that question I really didn’t know how to respond.  How do you tell a family member or acquaintance “We’ve been trying for several years but God is choosing to not answer my prayer?!”  Does God not hear my prayers?  Is he answering “No, not now?” or “No, never?”  I really didn’t know the answer at that point in my journey.

    ……this series will be continued next Wednesday!

    A little bit more about the Loosening My Grip series

    Looking back over the last few years it is much easier to see God’s perfect timing.  It was painful waiting, having people constantly ask questions, going to the doctor, praying, dealing with the emotions, and feeling like God didn’t even care.

    After much prayer and resistance I have decided to start my “Loosening My Grip” series.  I came up with the theme and idea more than a year ago.  Every time I start to write a little more on this topic I decide to just not do it.  Why?

    • It is personal
    • I still struggle with many issues in my life and continue to learn of more areas that I need to loosen my grip on
    • The feeling of inadequacy to write on the topic
    • No one else probably has these issues nor would they want to read about mine

    God has been working overtime on me to do it even though my flesh says stay away from certain areas.  It is difficult writing about those topics that are really near and dear to our hearts.  Most likely the series will not always go in chronological order because I am writing the topics as God lays them on my heart to write.  Maybe there is someone out there that has experienced similar struggles or is currently going through this situation in their life.  I hope to be an encouragement to you.  I want you know that you’re not alone; we have strength and support from a God that is so much bigger than any one of us.

    Loosening My Grip is a series on areas in my life I am learning to let go of slowly.  Several months ago I was studying Jonah and one of the phrases popped out at me was “Whatever you are holding on to in this life, hold it loosely so it won’t hurt when the Lord has to pry your fingers open to take it away.”  I have found that in some areas God has had to pry my fingers off of whatever I am holding onto one finger at a time.  There are areas in my life that I feel like I need control over and hold onto them tightly when God really has something so much more beautiful in store for me.  I have been learning how to let go and hold onto things more loosely so God can do His work in my life.

    Photo by Downstairs Dev

  • Song: “Stained Glass Masquerade” by Casting Crowns

    Last week was a mixed of emotions….. One dear friend from church who had been battling cancer, lived a great life, and was an inspiration to many went home to be with her Savior.  Another friend and business acquaintance who we hadn’t seen for several months took his own life which came as a complete surprise to our family.   We received news about a couple other friends going through some tough times as well.  The girls went back to school, work was busy, and many other activities filled the week.

    As I was enjoying some quiet time today I decided to look through my journal of ideas, specifically the list of songs that caught my attention. When I came upon “Stained Glass Masquerade” by Casting Crowns I paused…..and thought about all the events throughout the week.  How many of us live in some form of masquerade, we each have our own weaknesses yet we think it is not acceptable to discuss those fears and failures with others.  When we look around us at our friends or acquaintances in church and in other areas of our lives everyone else seems to have their lives perfectly put together.  How often do we chose to not reach out to someone because we are afraid of what they will think of us or how they will react when we can see that they are struggling?

    Take a moment today to search your heart, confess your weaknesses to God and live the life that is meant for you.  Find a prayer partner, or two, that you can be open and honest with and pray earnestly for each other.  No one person can fill a void in your heart or life except Christ, however, having friends praying alongside you increases your chance of success and brings a lot of encouragement along the hills and valleys in each others journeys.

  • Summer Activities – A Hammock Full of Memories

    Swinging and relaxing for a few minutes in the Hammock!

    A few months ago for Mother’s Day Jake gave me a hammock!  It wasn’t until this Summer that I realized how much the gift meant to me.  As a family we have spent some wonderful time together talking, laughing, reading, and just relaxing together in the hammock.  Jake hung the hammock in the shady part of our yard near the jungle gym, swimming pool, and where I can see the majority of the yard, house and driveway.

    Karlie hanging out with us on the hammock!

    Once Karlie was done swimming she ran inside the house to change so she could have some relaxing time on the hammock with Mom and Dad.  I cannot count the number of times she has fallen asleep on the hammock as we enjoy time together.

    Brina loving the extra time talking and relaxing with Mom, Dad and Karlie.

    The girls love getting a chance to swing on the hammock with Mom and Dad.  They have a blast talking about anything and everything.  It is a great location to have some heart to heart as well as reminisce about all the fun memories we have together as a family.

    Skipper, our faithful guard dog while the family enjoys time on the hammock.

    After Skipper has made a complete loop around the entire property she will settle down at a spot right next to the hammock.  She occasionally will look at us but for the most part she is checking out all the activity in the woods and creek area.  Although she has never been on the hammock she seems to enjoy it when the entire family is outside nearby.

    A moment of rest.

    Every once in awhile when we are on the hammock the girls will fall asleep.  It is such a great place to spend a few moments together.  Life has a way of getting so busy that we need some time to stop, focus on each family member, enjoy being outside and relax.

    A peaceful view of nature!

    This is the view looking up from the hammock.  You can enjoy the beautiful trees, baby blue sky, and white puffy clouds floating by.  Just looking up and watching the leaves rustle in the breeze and the clouds drifting by makes the time relaxing even better.

    I have gone out many times over the last few months to relax, read, think, pray, do my devotions, write, brain storm, or hang out with Jake and / or the girls.  I am thankful for a thoughtful husband who gave me a gift that not only helps me relax but to slow down and enjoy a few precious moments with him and the girls.  Our hammock is so much more then just a hammock it is full of relaxing moments sharing memories together as a family.  Sometimes it is the simple things in life that make the most treasured memories for our children.  I am already looking forward to watching the leaves change colors as we move closer to the Fall season.

  • Family Celebrations: Our Anniversary!

    Happy Anniversary to my Handsome Man!

    It is amazing to think we are celebrating 11 years of marriage today.  I am thankful for the many wonderful memories we have shared.  God has blessed our marriage and family.  I am grateful for an awesome husband who loves me and takes care of me.  He is my best friend and such a blessing in my life!

    Thank You Jake for everything!!!

    I look forward to spending many many more years with you!

    I LOVE YOU so very much!

    Happy Anniversary Handsome!!!!

    Photo by Sarah Ackerman