Be My Valentine: 14 Ways to Show Love to Your Spouse While At Home
The Valentine Season has hit! It is time to think about ways you can show your loved ones how much you appreciate them. I love the Valentine’s Holiday because it reminds us of the importance of celebrating with the ones you love. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we made a point to show love to our spouses not just during this season, but everyday!?
A few days ago I was thinking about some of the things Jake does to make me feel loved and appreciated. I am thankful for a spouse who loves me and invests his time into my life. He is always doing something sweet for me even if it is not the most convenient for him.
Today I am going to share 14 ways you can show love to your spouse while at home. I wanted to provide a list to get your creative juices flowing. There are so many ways to demonstrate your love to that amazing spouse who puts up with you everyday!
14 Ways to Show Love to Your Spouse While At Home:
- Keep the Communication Open – set aside time regularly when you can talk one-on-one with your spouse. We typically do this once the kids are in bed so it cuts down on the interruptions. This is a great time to talk about your days, share your thoughts, and to unwind after a busy day. These times are precious and important to keep the communication flowing smoothly with your spouse.
- Give a Hug – make a point to give your spouse at least one hug a day
- Make a Special Treat – find something that your spouse enjoys, but doesn’t get very often and make it for him/her. It could be a steak dinner or delicious homemade cookies. Even if it is something you don’t especially like when you go out of your way to make something specifically for him/her it shows them that you care and you notice the things that he/she enjoys.
- Say “I Love You” With Your Words and Actions – make sure to actually say “I Love You” to your spouse regularly as well as demonstrate your love through actions. For example, if she asks for your help on something – do it or if he wants dinner to be ready at 6 pm every day – do your best to have it ready for him. Your actions speak volumes to your spouse.
- Give Your Undivided Attention While Your Spouse is Speaking – it is increasingly difficult to spend several minutes speaking with anyone, including your spouse, without some kind of interruption. Maybe I am unique, but it can be very frustrating to speak with someone when they are constantly looking at their cell phone, laptop, or their attention is somewhere else. Put down your phone and walk away from it! Don’t let the texts, emails, phone calls, or other beeps coming from your cell phone interrupt this time with your spouse. While the cell phone makes us more accessible there are times when you need to break free from it and give your undivided attention to your spouse. Listen to what he/she is saying. Shut the laptop (or turn away from the computer) so he/she can visibly see that they are important to you and you are paying attention to him/her. Find a time when the kids are in bed or doing something else so they will not need to interrupt your conversation.
- Share a Kiss – give your spouse a kiss when it is least expected. We always make sure to share a kiss whenever one of us is leaving the house or coming home. However, the unexpected kiss when your spouse is cleaning out the dishwasher for you, switching the laundry, or bringing you another drink before you had even realized your cup was empty is a special surprise.
- Turn Down the Lights & Light the Candles – turning down the lights and lighting up the candles can be a great way to switch the room atmosphere into a relaxing mood for an evening.
- Help Your Spouse – your spouse may have had a super busy day at work or with the kids. Take the time out of your busy day to do something nice that will help him/her. Whether it is to laying out his clothes for work the next day, washing dishes, emptying the dishwasher, holding tools while they are building something, getting supplies ready to help change the oil in the family car, putting together a scrapbook, helping as they clean out the garage, or anything else. You really show your love when you pitch in and help on a task or activity that he/she knows is not something you enjoy or are good at because he/she knows you are doing it because you love him/her.
- Make Your Bedroom Inviting – Doing the basic cleaning and pick up can make the bedroom an inviting place to go to for your spouse. Simple tasks like making the bed, picking the dirty clothes up off the floor (at least put them in the laundry basket), hanging up the dirty towels, vacuuming the floor, dusting, and other tasks can go a long way in making the bedroom be a place you both enjoy.
- Open Arms Welcome – when your spouse comes home from work, errands, or any activity make a point to welcome him/her with open arms. Give him/her with a hug, kiss, and / or tell him/her how happy you are to see him/her. You may have a kid hanging on your leg, soapy hands, or may be in the middle of quizzing the kids on their spelling words, whatever it is you are doing stop and welcome him/her home. Let him/her know how happy you are to see him/her.
- Make Eye Contact – When your spouse is talking look at him/her. Catch his/her eyes at random times throughout the day or evening and smile (it lights up your eyes too) or wink at him/her. Let them know you value them by making a point to have direct eye contact with him/her.
- Back Scratch or Massage – some people love having their backs scratched or massaged or both. Some may also enjoy a foot massage. Whatever it is that your spouse enjoys make a point to regularly do these activities for him/her. You may pause as you are clearing the table to give a brief back scratch to your spouse or give them a foot massage as they tell you about his/her day.
- Words of Affirmation – voicing positive traits about your spouse. Verbally thanking him/her for pitching in and helping you. Telling them how proud you are of him/her.
- Share Memories & Laughter – whenever a fond memory pops into your head share it with your spouse. The memory will bring up the past experiences you share together, make both of you smile, or even laugh. There have been many times throughout our marriage one of us will just say one word or phrase which brings a smile to the others face. Watching a comedy that you both enjoy together can be a great way to laugh together too. Laughter is wonderful for your marriage
These are just a handful of ways to show your spouse how much you love them. Go ahead and try some of these ideas. Get creative and do some fun activities that will put an extra spark into your spouse’s day. The whole point is to show your spouse how much you care!
“Be My Valentine” is a series of creative ways you can celebrate Valentine’s Day with those you love. You can make it a special Holiday without spending a lot. Spread a little extra cheer to those around you this Valentine’s Day! Surprise your loved ones with a fun and thoughtful gift from the heart. It is a great time to reflect on sweet memories as well as create new ones with whole family. May this Valentine’s season be bursting with love for you! While these ideas are wonderful for the Valentine’s Season they are also a perfect treat that will be appreciated any day of the year!
Book: “The Five Love Languages of Children” by Gary Chapman
When Jake and I went to marriage counseling over 11 years ago we were encouraged to read “The Five Love Languages” for married couples by Gary Chapman. Several years ago I read The Five Love Languages of Children and decided to read it again recently. I tend to read several books at once so I started this one again a couple weeks ago as a refresher. As the girls get older I want to continue finding ways to both encourage them and show them that I love them. The Five Love Languages are the same ones that are discussed in Chapman’s other book but he applies it to raising children. The following are the five languages with examples (some examples are from the book, others are ones I came up with).
- Quality Time – Spend one on one time with each child, go on Mother Daughter Date Night, work together on a project
- Words of Affirmation – encourage them through words, praise them for a job well done, put a “love you” note in their lunch box
- Gifts – give gifts as an act of love, cherish the gifts or pieces of artwork they give you, buy a box of their favorite cereal and give it to them as a “I was thinking of you” gift
- Acts of Service – doing something for them, making them lunch, picking up their room
- Physical Touch – a hug, pat on the back, walking and holding their hands
One thing that I like about the book is it encourages parents to not only focus on their child’s primary love language (which can change throughout life) but to make sure to show love through all five love languages so their emotional love tank is full. After reading through most of the book again I went to a parent event at the girls school and the speaker talked about the principles taught in this book. I was thrilled to hear such an amazing message was being presented to the parents of students in the public school. I hope and pray the girls know how much a truly love them. I am willing to go the extra mile to find ways to be a better Mom to them. If you are looking for a book to read on raising children this one would be a great one to check out.