• Relationships: Granting Your Spouse Permission to Help YOU Heal

    Karlie - Red Rose FlowerRose picked by Jake from the Mother’s Day bush Karlie gave me last year! Beautiful!

    I am blessed to have a loving husband.  He takes great care of me and the girls, loves me despite my faults, pitches in around the house, always seeking ways to teach our girls, and intentionally invests regularly time and energy into our relationship and our family.

    Yet for some reason when I am tired, hurting, or discouraged he is the first person I tend to lash out at.  Is it because he is near?  Or is it that I trust he will continue loving me as he helps me get through the moments of hurt?  Is it that he is the first person who notices that I am struggling?  Is it because I allow “little stuff” to build up, get emotional, and blow the “little stuff” way out of proportion?  Or is it a complex multitude of feelings and connections of life that make me think it is acceptable to snap at someone truly trying to lovingly help me?

    Life is tough.  It would be a lie to say that I have not gone through a multitude of various emotions over the past few months.  My girls are growing up so quickly and my Momma’s heart is rejoicing yet broken over it at the same time.  I have not invested the time and energy into relationships that are important to me.  It has been a struggle to balance life, schedules, and times to the point that some days I feel like I am messing up everything or falling short. It feels like there are days when I am rushing through life and trying to just get what has to be accomplished done only to crash at night and re-start the process all over again the next day.

    How can I be an encouraging, positive, loving light, sharing God’s grace with those around me when I feel like the walls are falling in on me?  I have been praying specifically that God would break down the walls I have built up around my heart, revealed those areas I need to heal and repair, fill the holes that are plugged with the wrong motives, and work in my life, however, it is at times a very painful process.

    When an animal is hurting they tend to find a safe place and withdraw into themselves.  If you approach a hurt animal when they are in that safe place or feel like they are backed into a corner they have a tendency to snap at anyone reaching out to help them.  Their eyes are clouded with hurt or pain, their defenses are up, and they don’t know what to do so they react in anger at anyone trying to help because it is hard for them to distinguish between someone who is trying to hurt and a person who is trying to help.  I am sure vets or people who work with animals see this all the time.  The animal wants to be alone in their pain, lick their wounds, and retreat to safety even though it it not the best action if they truly want to heal.

    As humans we cannot and should not react the same way as an animal would.  We are built to value and crave relationships.  Some of our relationships may be healthy while others are pulling us down.  We cannot be everything to everybody, it’s impossible, yet we can make an impact on the lives we touch.  Starting with our relationship with Christ, spreading to our spouses, children, and reaching out to family, friends, co-workers, and others that we interact with in our lives.  It always works best when we are living our life looking for strength, encouragement, and wisdom from the top and allowing it to filter down through our lives to the people we have the privilege of loving and living life beside.

    Take time this week to spend time pray.  Investigate your heart, reflect on your relationships, and start the process of breaking down the barriers we have created to falsely shield us.  Those barriers are really just holding us back and blocking those who truly love and want to help us.  Allow your spouse and others to speak truth into your life.

  • Heart Reflections: It’s Not About Us

    As Moms, wives, and friends we get involved in so many activities.  It is easy for our lives and schedules to quickly fill up to the point of bursting.  When our lives, hearts, and schedules get packed full we don’t have the flexibility to spontaneously help and encourage others.

    A month ago I had the blessing of taking a quick road trip with friends.  It was encouraging to spend time with a friend, another Mom.  We have been richly blessed with amazing people in our lives.  Also, we have a lot to be grateful for yet we often get too busy and don’t take enough time to focus about what’s really important.  We forget that other Mom’s are going through many of the same struggles that we go through.  We are not alone.

    As Moms we want to allow our children the freedom to grow while at the same time protect them from danger and harm.  There are many mistakes we make as Moms which can often lead to the feeling of guilt. Even though we make many mistakes in our lives and as parents God is much bigger than us.  The focus really isn’t on or about us at all.  Not only that but we are not called to raise “perfect” kids, the goal is to raise godly kids with the help of our spouse, extended family, church leaders, friends, and most importantly Christ. No one is perfect and to expecting our children to be that way is setting everyone up for disappointment.

    • The first step is reflecting his love, grace and mercy through our lives in our words and actions starting first in our homes.  We will continue to make a mess of some situations, but He forgives and helps point us back to what really is important.  God has the power to work in our lives and family despite our failures.  He is not surprised by those bumps in the road nor do they slow Him down.  When we are relying on him for strength we will have more energy to focus on helping our children each step of the way.

    Having the opportunity to raise and watch my girls grow has been a truly amazing adventure.  As Moms we need to pray for our children, families and those our lives touch.  We don’t know the path before us so we need to trust in His faithfulness and promises for today. While I was on bedrest for weeks the phrase that I repeated continually was “Day by Day”.  Getting through the tasks and plans that are to be accomplish today, not tomorrow or yesterday, just today!

    • Therefore the second step is praying for our kids.  One of my prayers for our girls is that they will grow up to know Him and have a soft heart willing to soak in His teachings as well as  listen to His guidance.  I hope that my girls will be able to see past their Moms shortcomings and have a direct relationship with a heavenly Father who loves them even more than their Mom and Dad.  No person or family is perfect.  I am thankful for a husband who plays an active role in the lives of our children and for a God who loves, heals, and protects our family.  It’s okay to loosen my grip a little regarding my children because I know I can hand my concerns about my children and their lives over to Him knowing He has their best interest at heart.

    We often get wrap up in what we need to get done that we miss some of the beautiful moments we have with our children.  Our girls are growing up quickly and I have to constantly remind myself that it’s not about us.  Our calling is so much bigger and better than just our schedule and agenda.  We have to continually remind ourselves of what truly matters and to purposely take the extra few minutes each day this week to really spend quality time with our families.

    “Heart Reflections” is a series of thoughts and encouragement that come directly from my heart.  Life has a way of throwing us extra challenges and when our focus is pulled away from what is truly important we tend to feel the pressure of stress in our lives.  This series is created to remind us that we are part of something so much bigger than ourselves.  We don’t have to face the pressure of life on our own.  We can trust that our prayers are being heard.  He alone knows what’s best for us and gives us the appropriate strength to get through each day as it is set before us.

    Photo by Seattle Municipal Archives

  • Giveaway: Book “Speaking Mom-ese” by Lisa Whelchel

    I will be doing a giveaway for the month of April!  The winner will receive the hardcover book called “Speaking Mom-ese: Moments of Peace & Inspiration in the Mother Tongue” by Lisa Whelchel!  As Moms it is difficult finding a moment of “quiet” in our days and I liked how each chapter was short so I could fit it into even a busy day. A friend gave me the book when I was pregnant with the girls and I have read through at least it twice.  Lisa shares insights and stories about her children as well as encourages you as a Mom.  I think it is important even on the busy days to have even a few moments to relax.

    All you have to do to enter this giveaway is sign up to follow my blog (if you haven’t done so already) and leave a comment below by 10 PM EST on April 30th telling us how you follow Blessings Multiplied.  You can get a BONUS entry into the drawing if you leave a separate comment below telling us one of your tips for squeezing in a few moments of peace and quiet into your already busy day!  We love our family but they have a way of keeping us running all day!  On April 30th I will randomly draw a winner from those who have entered the giveaway.

  • A Balanced Life

    Kreativität Life can be a juggling act when trying to balance your schedule with work, family, friends, appointments, social activities and everything that squeezes into a day.  The days fill up and schedules will overlap but we can still use our time effectively.  Here are some quick ways to help organize your schedule so you have the joy of accomplishment without the extra stress:

    • Color Coded Calendar – our family has a color coded calendar on the wall so everyone can see the activities for the day.  We know what each family member is doing at a quick glance.  Even our young children get excited to see a special family event with their color on the calendar.  You can have a color coded calendar just for you with one color for business appointments, another color for social time, a color for doctor visits, etc….
    • Clean Out Your Inbox – some days it feels like I can spend the entire day writing and responding to emails.  Try scheduling an hour first thing in the morning when you get into work and an hour at the end of the day to focus on sending and responding to emails.  Handle your work emails during those times and respond to personal emails in the evenings and on weekends.  Focus completely on emails during that time, put your phone on silence or close your office door if you need to.  Avoid interruptions so you can get it done.  If you think you’ll go too long set a timer and when it buzzes, stop.
    • Time to Talk – schedule phone time each day for returning calls, initiating calls, scheduling appointments, and completing projects.  It is important to follow up with business connections as well as family and friends.  Keep your personal calls during work hours to a minimum and utilize that time to schedule business appointments and work related calls.  Call family and friends in the evenings or weekends to make sure you have enough time to catch up with them.
    • Plan your Dinner – plan your week of meals prior to going to the grocery store.  Lay out the recipe  and any items you can prior to leaving for work that morning so when you get home it is ready to be put together.  If you have a crockpot they are fabulous for people working that want to come home to a meal.  Put the main course in before work and when you come home add a side of veggies and fruit then your dinner is ready.  Pack the leftovers for lunch at work.
    • Double Duty Meals – you can easily accomplish multiple tasks when you work through an occasional breakfast and lunch.  Have lunch with your business partner and brainstorm about the business.  Meet a friend for lunch to catch up and let the kids run out their energy while you talk.  Take lunch at your desk so you can get through an extra project.  You have to eat so mix up your meals and pick a couple days when you will meet someone during a mealtime.  If on a budget or tight schedule grab coffee together.
    • Project Creativity – time needs to be set aside daily to complete projects both personally and professionally.  Determine what needs to be accomplished that day and make sure you have time allocated to get it done including projects that you are doing with your clients.  Same goes for the personal side of life somehow the laundry doesn’t get done on its own and the house cleaned unless you take the time to do it.  Take into consideration the amount of energy and concentration you will need for the project and make sure it fits into your day at an ideal time.
    • Quick Sweep – clean off your desk, organize your office, file papers, and other office work items 15 minutes a day (set a timer if you need to).  By dedicating even a brief time to this on a daily basis you will be able to maintain a cleaner more organized office space. I have been known to let it pile up over several days and then it can take hours to dig myself back out.  Make it brief and daily so that it is more effective and organized.

    It is important that your time is utilized efficiently.  You will have  interruptions, however, doing your best to schedule time to complete specific tasks throughout the day will allow you to be more productive and focused.  Every one of us has the same 24 hours in a day and we must make choices on how to use the time given to us.  What are some activities you do that help keep your day balanced?

  • What Are You Missing?

    crowds in subway Do you have days that get filled with so many activities and projects that you feel as if you are rushing from one item to the next?  Maybe it is just our schedule…… although I think we all need reminded occasionally of the important things in our lives. It is rather easy to fill your day with appointments, projects, and errands that need to be done both in our personal and professional lives.  Then there are days that unexpected emergencies pop up and demand our attention as well…..finishing an extra project at work with a co-worker that has a deadline, taking a sick child to the Doctor, visiting a friend that needs encouragement, a flat tire on the vehicle you are driving, and so many more.

    During these busy days I want to encourage you to remember those things that you are truly passionate about and the people in your life who are important to you.  We miss out on so many blessings in our lives because we do not pause long enough to notice and appreciate them.  I am blessed beyond measure with a loving husband, two beautiful daughters, amazing friends, a great business that helps others, comfortable home, food to eat, clothes to wear, and so much more.  However, on those rushed days it is harder to relax and be content even with the many blessings in my life because the little issues seem bigger and more stressful.  On those days it is even more critical that I focus any extra energy I have on that which is truly valuable.  It is amazing how quickly a thankful heart can lift your spirits.

    My heart goes out to so many who are going through a tough season in their lives right now.  May you be encouraged and know that no matter what your current circumstance may be we all have something to be thankful for in our lives.  As we go into the weekend think about what you are thankful for and pause for a moment to focus on that instead of all the inconveniences of life.  Relax and enjoy an incredible weekend focusing on your passions and the people in your life.  What are your passions?  Who are you thankful in your life?