Process – Blessings Multiplied

Rose picked by Jake from the Mother’s Day bush Karlie gave me last year! Beautiful!

I am blessed to have a loving husband. He takes great care of me and the girls, loves me despite my faults, pitches in around the house, always seeking ways to teach our girls, and intentionally invests regularly time and energy into our relationship and our family.

Yet for some reason when I am tired, hurting, or discouraged he is the first person I tend to lash out at. Is it because he is near? Or is it that I trust he will continue loving me as he helps me get through the moments of hurt? Is it that he is the first person who notices that I am struggling? Is it because I allow “little stuff” to build up, get emotional, and blow the “little stuff” way out of proportion? Or is it a complex multitude of feelings and connections of life that make me think it is acceptable to snap at someone truly trying to lovingly help me?

Life is tough. It would be a lie to say that I have not gone through a multitude of various emotions over the past few months. My girls are growing up so quickly and my Momma’s heart is rejoicing yet broken over it at the same time. I have not invested the time and energy into relationships that are important to me. It has been a struggle to balance life, schedules, and times to the point that some days I feel like I am messing up everything or falling short. It feels like there are days when I am rushing through life and trying to just get what has to be accomplished done only to crash at night and re-start the process all over again the next day.

How can I be an encouraging, positive, loving light, sharing God’s grace with those around me when I feel like the walls are falling in on me? I have been praying specifically that God would break down the walls I have built up around my heart, revealed those areas I need to heal and repair, fill the holes that are plugged with the wrong motives, and work in my life, however, it is at times a very painful process.

When an animal is hurting they tend to find a safe place and withdraw into themselves. If you approach a hurt animal when they are in that safe place or feel like they are backed into a corner they have a tendency to snap at anyone reaching out to help them. Their eyes are clouded with hurt or pain, their defenses are up, and they don’t know what to do so they react in anger at anyone trying to help because it is hard for them to distinguish between someone who is trying to hurt and a person who is trying to help. I am sure vets or people who work with animals see this all the time. The animal wants to be alone in their pain, lick their wounds, and retreat to safety even though it it not the best action if they truly want to heal.

As humans we cannot and should not react the same way as an animal would. We are built to value and crave relationships. Some of our relationships may be healthy while others are pulling us down. We cannot be everything to everybody, it’s impossible, yet we can make an impact on the lives we touch. Starting with our relationship with Christ, spreading to our spouses, children, and reaching out to family, friends, co-workers, and others that we interact with in our lives. It always works best when we are living our life looking for strength, encouragement, and wisdom from the top and allowing it to filter down through our lives to the people we have the privilege of loving and living life beside.

Take time this week to spend time pray. Investigate your heart, reflect on your relationships, and start the process of breaking down the barriers we have created to falsely shield us. Those barriers are really just holding us back and blocking those who truly love and want to help us. Allow your spouse and others to speak truth into your life.

As our kids got bigger we began to notice a trend pop up. Their toys began to break, batteries died, books got torn and so forth. Almost daily (or at least it seemed) our girls were bringing “broken” toys to have us fix for them whether it was gluing a broken toy, taping a book, sewing, or replacing batteries it took time to get fix them. The girls would often hover around during the fix up process causing more delays in getting them fixed or shedding in tears when the toy truly was broken beyond repair.

In our effort to streamline the toy repair in our house we created an “Ouchy Toy Box”. When a toy, book, or game broke, required repair, or was due for new batteries they would bring it to us like in the past but instead of fixing it on the spot or having it sit on our desk for days we would put the toy in the Ouchy Toy Box. Once a month or when the box was full we would set aside time to fix the toys in the Ouchy Toy Box. The best sight to see is an empty Ouchy Toy Box!

To create an Ouchy Toy Box find a cardboard box, crate, or any container that will hold a dozen or so toys. We use a small cardboard box with the words Ouchy Toy Box written on the outside. When a toy is broken the girls ask to put it in the box. Our box is up high on a shelf in the office so they cannot look into or dig through the box. The saying “Out of Sight Out of Mind” works well in this situation.

Here are our steps to repairing the toys (once a month or when the box was full):

The night before, after the kids are in bed, we go through the Ouchy Toy Box and clean out all the toys that were broken beyond repair and throw them away. Many times they have been in the toy box for at least a couple weeks and the girls no longer remember them or ask about them. This helps us clean out the broken ones without the trauma and tears over the broken toy.
The next day we set aside time in the evening to fix the broken ouchy toys, usually after dinner and baths. We begin the process while the girls are awake so they can see what we do to fix the toys. It gives us the opportunity to talk about why the toys are broken and how to take care of the things God gives us.
We lay the toys out on the table or desk with a combination of tools such as glue, batteries, screwdrivers, tape, needles, thread, scissors, and anything else that we may need so we are ready to fix the toys. (This allows us to get all the repair tools out only once a month instead of getting them out and putting them away every day).
We begin fixing the toys. As they are fixed the girls have an opportunity to play with them and then put them away in the toy box or book shelf. Depending how many toys you have to fix and the extent of the repairs we do several while they are watching us. We often start on the minor repairs first in case not all of them are fixable. (ie. taping a page in a book, sewing a button back on a stuffed animal, etc…)
We tuck the girls in bed before finishing all of the toys. Typically, it is much quicker to repair once they are in bed especially if you need a steady hand, are using a drill or other sharp tools.
Once the toys have been repaired we line them up on the table or fireplace for them to enjoy in the morning. It spreads the excitement and they have fun reunited with their toys. It helps teach them that it takes time to repair the toys, to trust us to fix their toys, and an appreciation for what they have.
They will often play with the toys for hours after being fixed Which is another added bonus. Rarely do we have to fix the same toy multiple times.

One of the most interesting effects of this system, which we didn’t anticipate happening when we first started doing it, was that they have fewer and fewer toys that need to go into the Ouchy Toy Box. It could be that they have learned to take better care of their toys (turn them off after using so the batteries don’t wear down, be gentle with their books, pick up the toys so they are not stepped on), maybe they don’t like going without them for several weeks, or it could be something entirely different. Whatever the reason, it is has worked at extremely well with our kids.

Doing this monthly or regularly once the box is full streamlines the process especially if you have all the tools ready to complete the task at hand. It prevents the tear shed of toys that have to be thrown away and it allows an opportunity to teach a lesson about taking care of the toys. You are not pressured to fix it now since you have a system in place. Many people that have come into our home office have laughed initially at seeing a box labeled Ouchy Toy Box, however, several of them have since adopted the system for their own families. It works, try it!