Relationships: Granting Your Spouse Permission to Help YOU Heal
Rose picked by Jake from the Mother’s Day bush Karlie gave me last year! Beautiful!
I am blessed to have a loving husband. He takes great care of me and the girls, loves me despite my faults, pitches in around the house, always seeking ways to teach our girls, and intentionally invests regularly time and energy into our relationship and our family.
Yet for some reason when I am tired, hurting, or discouraged he is the first person I tend to lash out at. Is it because he is near? Or is it that I trust he will continue loving me as he helps me get through the moments of hurt? Is it that he is the first person who notices that I am struggling? Is it because I allow “little stuff” to build up, get emotional, and blow the “little stuff” way out of proportion? Or is it a complex multitude of feelings and connections of life that make me think it is acceptable to snap at someone truly trying to lovingly help me?
Life is tough. It would be a lie to say that I have not gone through a multitude of various emotions over the past few months. My girls are growing up so quickly and my Momma’s heart is rejoicing yet broken over it at the same time. I have not invested the time and energy into relationships that are important to me. It has been a struggle to balance life, schedules, and times to the point that some days I feel like I am messing up everything or falling short. It feels like there are days when I am rushing through life and trying to just get what has to be accomplished done only to crash at night and re-start the process all over again the next day.
How can I be an encouraging, positive, loving light, sharing God’s grace with those around me when I feel like the walls are falling in on me? I have been praying specifically that God would break down the walls I have built up around my heart, revealed those areas I need to heal and repair, fill the holes that are plugged with the wrong motives, and work in my life, however, it is at times a very painful process.
When an animal is hurting they tend to find a safe place and withdraw into themselves. If you approach a hurt animal when they are in that safe place or feel like they are backed into a corner they have a tendency to snap at anyone reaching out to help them. Their eyes are clouded with hurt or pain, their defenses are up, and they don’t know what to do so they react in anger at anyone trying to help because it is hard for them to distinguish between someone who is trying to hurt and a person who is trying to help. I am sure vets or people who work with animals see this all the time. The animal wants to be alone in their pain, lick their wounds, and retreat to safety even though it it not the best action if they truly want to heal.
As humans we cannot and should not react the same way as an animal would. We are built to value and crave relationships. Some of our relationships may be healthy while others are pulling us down. We cannot be everything to everybody, it’s impossible, yet we can make an impact on the lives we touch. Starting with our relationship with Christ, spreading to our spouses, children, and reaching out to family, friends, co-workers, and others that we interact with in our lives. It always works best when we are living our life looking for strength, encouragement, and wisdom from the top and allowing it to filter down through our lives to the people we have the privilege of loving and living life beside.
Take time this week to spend time pray. Investigate your heart, reflect on your relationships, and start the process of breaking down the barriers we have created to falsely shield us. Those barriers are really just holding us back and blocking those who truly love and want to help us. Allow your spouse and others to speak truth into your life.
Heart Reflections: Is Anyone Cheerful?
A few weeks ago I read a verse that stuck in my head. The verse reminded me of the importance of praying for others and giving thanks not only for what is happening in our immediate families but for the lives of those we touch everyday.
Is anyone among you suffering?
There are people around you everyday that are suffering. Some days you may be suffering as well. When you meet with a friend, family member, or acquaintance that is going through a tough time what do you do? It is wonderful to take time to listen and encourage. What does the Bible say about those who are suffering? The answer “let him pray”. The best thing you can do when you are going through a trial or you know of someone who is suffering is to pray.
Is anyone cheerful?
There is so much negativity that surrounds us every day that it can sometimes be more difficult finding people who are cheerful. Are we focusing on the positive blessings in our life everyday? How are we encouraging those around us? Is cheerfulness seen in your life? The Bible says to “let him sing praise.” When you are cheerful you may find yourself singing praises!
Is anyone among you sick?
It doesn’t take long to hear about someone who is going through an illness or suffering from an unknown sickness. When you have a friend or family member with an illness it is important to pray for them and have others pray as well. You may never know how much of an encouragement your prayers may be to those going through the sickness. God can work miracles and bring healing through your prayers.
Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. – James 5:13-14
Song: “What Faith Can Do” by Kutless
We were able to see Kutless in concert during our Valentine’s Date at Winter Jam in Greenville, SC. It was neat to hear their songs that night. Since then several of their songs have been ringing through my head, this is one of those songs. We all fall and make mistakes, however, it’s how we pick ourselves up that matters. Having faith in something so much greater than ourselves gives us the additional strength and hope we need to get through any situation. We have the privilege of seeing miracles happen when we have faith that God can and will provide exactly what we need.
Song: “7 x 70” by Chris August
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITh9IH1p-ME&feature=related
Jake and I was able to hear Chris August sing this song at Winter Jam 2011. Even though everyone’s circumstances are unique we all have past mistakes, guilt, and hurt in our lives. There were two simple phrases from the song that stood out to me that night “I thought the pain was here to stay, but forgiveness made a way” and “I forgive you”. We often hold onto the past or struggle with the present. As humans we will make mistakes every day and hurt the people we love. I am thankful that we the opportunity to forgive and be forgiven so we can allow God heal the wounds in our lives.