• Relationships: Granting Your Spouse Permission to Help YOU Heal

    Karlie - Red Rose FlowerRose picked by Jake from the Mother’s Day bush Karlie gave me last year! Beautiful!

    I am blessed to have a loving husband.  He takes great care of me and the girls, loves me despite my faults, pitches in around the house, always seeking ways to teach our girls, and intentionally invests regularly time and energy into our relationship and our family.

    Yet for some reason when I am tired, hurting, or discouraged he is the first person I tend to lash out at.  Is it because he is near?  Or is it that I trust he will continue loving me as he helps me get through the moments of hurt?  Is it that he is the first person who notices that I am struggling?  Is it because I allow “little stuff” to build up, get emotional, and blow the “little stuff” way out of proportion?  Or is it a complex multitude of feelings and connections of life that make me think it is acceptable to snap at someone truly trying to lovingly help me?

    Life is tough.  It would be a lie to say that I have not gone through a multitude of various emotions over the past few months.  My girls are growing up so quickly and my Momma’s heart is rejoicing yet broken over it at the same time.  I have not invested the time and energy into relationships that are important to me.  It has been a struggle to balance life, schedules, and times to the point that some days I feel like I am messing up everything or falling short. It feels like there are days when I am rushing through life and trying to just get what has to be accomplished done only to crash at night and re-start the process all over again the next day.

    How can I be an encouraging, positive, loving light, sharing God’s grace with those around me when I feel like the walls are falling in on me?  I have been praying specifically that God would break down the walls I have built up around my heart, revealed those areas I need to heal and repair, fill the holes that are plugged with the wrong motives, and work in my life, however, it is at times a very painful process.

    When an animal is hurting they tend to find a safe place and withdraw into themselves.  If you approach a hurt animal when they are in that safe place or feel like they are backed into a corner they have a tendency to snap at anyone reaching out to help them.  Their eyes are clouded with hurt or pain, their defenses are up, and they don’t know what to do so they react in anger at anyone trying to help because it is hard for them to distinguish between someone who is trying to hurt and a person who is trying to help.  I am sure vets or people who work with animals see this all the time.  The animal wants to be alone in their pain, lick their wounds, and retreat to safety even though it it not the best action if they truly want to heal.

    As humans we cannot and should not react the same way as an animal would.  We are built to value and crave relationships.  Some of our relationships may be healthy while others are pulling us down.  We cannot be everything to everybody, it’s impossible, yet we can make an impact on the lives we touch.  Starting with our relationship with Christ, spreading to our spouses, children, and reaching out to family, friends, co-workers, and others that we interact with in our lives.  It always works best when we are living our life looking for strength, encouragement, and wisdom from the top and allowing it to filter down through our lives to the people we have the privilege of loving and living life beside.

    Take time this week to spend time pray.  Investigate your heart, reflect on your relationships, and start the process of breaking down the barriers we have created to falsely shield us.  Those barriers are really just holding us back and blocking those who truly love and want to help us.  Allow your spouse and others to speak truth into your life.

  • Heart Reflections: His Perfect Timing

    We read a little bit in the book of Esther with the girls recently.  Esther’s words “for such a time as this” not only struck a cord in my heart but in the girls hearts as well.  Have you ever thought about how you have been placed on this earth at this exact time for a specific reason?  During our recent devotional with the girls they asked the question “Why did God chose for me to live today not many years ago or sometime in the future?”

    What a great question, right!?  One that I have actually thought about a lot over the past few years myself too.  God knew us even before we were born (how cool is that)!  🙂  He chose for us to live today, during this time, and at this very moment for a special reason. The problem is often times we don’t always realize or know what that really means for us.  We get so caught up in the daily obligations of life itself we forget that its the little “daily” stuff that can really have a life long impact on the lives of others.  Take our kids for example…feeding their bodies, teaching their minds, and shepherding their hearts now can make a positive impact on many future generations to come.  Will we mess up?  Yes!  That is normal, however, it is important that they know we love them, we make mistakes, and that our hearts aren’t perfect either which is why we need Jesus’ grace, love, wisdom, and forgiveness just as much as anyone else.

    We have the opportunity to make a positive impact on the world, starting with the people around us.  Are we taking the time to share his love, kindness, mercy, goodness and grace to those people we interact with daily as well as those we may only have 1 opportunity to touch their lives?  I am thankful He has allowed me to live today…to have a spouse who loves me, to have these children keep me on my toes, friends who challenge me to do better, extended family who want to be a part of my life, a blog to reach out to people I may never meet in person, and so many more amazing blessings in my life.  Are our lives reflecting Him through our words, thoughts, and actions so that we have many opportunities to make a positive eternal impact?  If not, what do I need to do to change?

    The girls are really thinking lately. We went from Jesus to John the Baptist to (Carmel Hair Coats, Esther, Baptism, Life, Death, Salvation,  Sharing the Good News, Extended Family, Heaven, Praying, what is a Pastor, Faith and maybe even a couple more thrown in there along the way…).  Quite the discussions lately, but I am thankful for their desire to learn and grow.  I pray that Jake and I will have wisdom we need to answer the questions in a way that will only strengthen their faith and make a positive impact on their lives and hearts.  One of  the best parts about reading through a variety of devotional books with them is that it really seems to initiate some good conversations.

  • Book: “The Millionaire Mind” by Thomas Stanley

    As I was thinking about the various books I have read over the past few years “The Millionaire Mind” by Thomas Stanley came to mind.  In this book Stanley explains the research he did on how America’s wealthy got there.  You don’t need to make a substantial amount to be smart with your money.  Living a flashy and fancy lifestyle isn’t what it takes to be wise with your finances.  I found it fascinating learning more regarding the millionaire “mindset” and the questions he asked in his research.

    Our family has been trying to stick to our budget and be more responsible with the blessings we have been given.  We are by no means millionaires but we feel it is important to always continue to learn and grow.  My husband and I listened to the audiobook version of this book together.  If you are trying to wrap your mind around finances this is fun book to read or listen to as you work through the process as a family.  I encourage you to communicate and pray as a family as you go on this journey together.  When we were first married it became very clear that Jake and I had different patterns and views on finances.  Taking the time to listen or read these types of books together helps encourage and strengthen your relationship while providing a positive outlook on finances.  What works for one family may not be doable for the next family, however, we all have been giving many blessings in life.  We still continue to make mistakes, pick ourselves back up, and learn from the lessons God continues to teach us.  We want to purposely chose to be wise with what we have been given so we have more opportunities to share with those around us.