• Relationships: Blessings of Good Friends

    Lily - Red & Orange Flower - Mother's Day Gift

    Friendships are a special part of life, and each and every friendship is different.  Some friendships develop and grow when times and places make it easy for friends to be together and share.  Some friendships mature and change and last a lifetime, even when distance and silences exist.  The wonderful part of a good friendship is that it touches your heart with feelings that make every day more beautiful and worthwhile.  – Ben Daniels

    I am thankful for my friends.  While reading the other day I came across the above insert from Ben Daniels.  It was a great reminder for me and might be for you as well.  Hopefully each of us have developed at least a handful of these types of friendships in our lives because they are priceless.  They journey through life with you no matter the amount of miles between you and the time gaps in seeing each other.  With all the technology (cell phones, internet, social media and other) we have the resources available to at least stay in touch to these friends.  Reach out to these friends in your life this week.  Be an encouragement, share some laughs, and invest the time in these friendships.

  • Spontaneous Tornadoes

    Spontaneous Tornadoes

    It is amazing how quickly a mess can be made at home.  There are days when I work hard to clean up the house only to have it explode into a mess of toys, crafts, and random stuff within minutes.  Our children truly are a blessing in our lives and we love them dearly, however, they are known to make a mess.

    How do we teach our children to be considerate of others by picking up their toys, papers, clothes, crafts, and whatever else they have gotten out?  We want our kids to have fun, play hard, and be creative, but does it need to end in a big mess?

    • Simplify Life – over the last few months it has occurred to me that we just have too much stuff.  I am thankful for the many blessings we have been given but the more we have the greater responsibility.  This is an area I am continuing to work on in our home.
    • Organization – by creating an organized system the kids will have a better idea of what is it be expected and where to put away their items.  For example, having a shoe basket inside the front door for them to put their shoes into when they walk in the door is a visual reminder for them to take off their shoes.  When they have a place or specific bins for the variety of toys it helps them know where to go both to play with an item and to put it away.  The expectation is clear and organization helps tremendously, although the Spontaneous Tornadoes will continue to happen from time to time putting these into place will cut down on the frequency of the tornadoes.
    • Communication – talking with the kids about why we need to pick up our toys, clothes and home.  Most of the time they will gladly pitch in and help pick up if you just ask nicely.  Setting a timer or making it into a game (see how much we can pick up in 10 minutes) will help get them motivated to do it too.
    • Actions Speak Louder – be an example to your kids…..this one can be a hard one.  Somehow my stuff gets spread out too!  If you have all your items all over the place then why should they be expected to pick up their toys, clothes, and miscellaneous items.  I realize that it’s impossible to keep everything perfect especially during a busy week and in a well loved home, but by setting aside a few minutes everyday and trying your best to maintain the home (and the items you are responsible for) shows the children what is expected of them.
    • Set Some Ground Rules – they want to do a craft?  Okay, that it fine with me, however, prior to moving onto the next craft or another avenue of play they must first pick up their current mess.  This helps them tidy up along the way so at the end of the day there are only a few items to put away instead of an massive explosion of toys, crafts, and other goodies (plus the glue gets put away instead spending hours drying out).  I try to always let them do crafts and creative play whenever possible, although I do occasionally need to remind them to go back and pick up something if they switch to another activity without cleaning up the previous one.   Thankfully, the kids are getting better at doing this and are needing less reminders, plus they know where items go so they can put everything away on their own without the help of the whole family (although we pitch in many times because that’s what families do for each other)!

    I know Spontaneous Tornadoes will continue to invade our home via our children (and their parents) but with a little preparation and daily maintenance we should be able to keep them to a minimum.  There are days when we all take 15 minutes and pick up the house together.  When we are work together as a team it can go by quickly and shows the importance of everyone participating in the activity to get the work done.

    Do you have Spontaneous Tornadoes in your home?  How do you help prevent from having too many?

  • Heart Reflections: The Powerful Impact of Words

    Let no corrupt communication come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. –  Ephesians 4:29

    Ouch!  This is a hard one at times…  I read this verse a few days ago and I have continued to think about it as I plunge into another busy week.  Sometimes we forget how powerful of an impact our words have on others.  Are we encouraging our family and friends with kind words or we doing damage?

    It is hard to be positive and encouraging all the time.  Often I find myself regretting the words I spoke immediately after they were said.  Speaking poorly about another person does no good and in reality it only makes me look bad.  Complaining about the little inconveniences in my life only shows my discontent heart.  How I am suppose to be a shining light in a dark world, if my words are just as hurtful or hateful as the next persons?

    We are all human.  We make mistakes.  Things will happen that offend and upset us.  It feels natural to get defensive or to lash out against those who hurt us.  I find it very difficult to control my words especially when it comes to children (any kids, not just my own).  I think part of that is the mothering instinct, however, it is wise to consider our words prior to opening our mouths.  At times it may be best to wait to discuss something big after you’ve had time to pray about it and when it is more convenient for all parties involved.

    Will you pray with me asking God to give us the words to speak that may be good for building up and give grace to those who hear?  Let’s try with God’s help to be positive, encouraging, and speak kindly.  We don’t know what is going on in the hearts and lives of those around us but if we can control our tongue we may have more opportunities to be a blessing and make a positive impact on the life of someone else.

  • (Part II) Making Your Commitments – Well Done

    Beef Kabobs - Well DoneEvery day we makes choices on how to spend our time and energy.  It is important to the people in our lives that we  follow through with the commitments we make both personally and professionally.  Great satisfaction comes from a job that is  done well and wonderful feedback is given when a relationship is built on quality characteristics.  We all have vital roles in life and you will make a huge impact on the people your life touches.  The question is will your impact be positive one for the people in your life?  What are some of the common the characteristics of people who keep their commitments to others:

    • Integrity – adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character (Dictionary.com) Someone who does the right thing no matter what especially when they make a mistake or miss a deadline.  Take responsibility for your actions.
    • Honesty – whether it is someone in your personal or professional life you will quickly learn who do and those who do not tell the truth.  The truth can sting and be hurtful, however, it is the best way to handle any situation.  You can try to cover something up but eventually the truth will be revealed.  Make sure to always speak the truth in love.  Be honest today in your relationships.
    • Dependable – do what you say you will do and be where you say you will be.  Be punctual as much as possible.  A dependable person demonstrates to  others that they are valuable and their time is appreciated.  When you tell a friend you are coming, it’s pretty simple…..come.  Unforeseeable things can happen and if that is the case contact them as soon as possible.  Be considerate of the person who is expecting to see you or receive something from you.
    • Trustworthy – when someone shares with you they are opening up their hearts and minds to you.  Whether it is a client you are helping complete a project or a friend going through a tough time.  Listen and help.  If someone shares with you in confidence it simply must remain in confidence.  When you make a promise follow through.  It takes work to build healthy relationships with the people in your life.

    We all desire to be appreciated and know who we can trust to be honest, trustworthy, and dependable.  It is important to have people in your life you can count on to come through for you both personally and professionally.  Life is short and we need the positive impacts in our lives.  Take time to evaluate the characteristics that shine through in your life to your family, friends, business partners, etc…  Make sure you have commitments that are – well done.  What are some positive characteristics you have that help you build positive relationships and keep your commitments?  Do you have areas you need to improve in as well?

  • How Do You Like Your Commitments? Rare or Medium or Well Done

    Steak When you make a commitment do you follow through until completion?  Do you do what you say you will do?  It seems pretty simple, however, I am finding that it really is more difficult then people realize.  There can be many reasons for not following through with a promise or commitment.  Here are some common trends I have noticed:

    • Forgetfulness – did not write it down or completely forgot to do it for whatever reason.  Maybe it was a conversation in passing, for example, you ran into a friend that you haven’t spoken to in a long time at the grocery store and you mention that you need to get together for lunch sometime to catch up.  You promised send an email that night with available times to meet for lunch.  You didn’t have a place to write it down and you truly forgot.  If this happens follow up as soon as you remember with apologies.
    • Over Booked –  promises to too many people therefore making it impossible to complete all the commitments you have made.  You are in the doctors office for an appointment with your little one and they have to run tests.  The doctor promises to call tomorrow with the results and  the next day comes and goes with no word from the doctor.  We only have 24 hours a day, until we figure out a way to increase that amount of time we have make sure to allot enough time to fulfill those commitments that must be done each day.
    • Something Better – a promise was made to help someone but something more exciting comes up.   What if you had a babysitter lined up to watch your kids while you were at a business event and she decided to go bowling with her friends instead that night leaving you scrambling to find someone to watch the kids.  Be considerate and treat others with respect.
    • Emergency – this is a valid reason for postponing a commitment, however, if everything is an emergency people will quickly realize that it is an excuse.  It is important to not over use this one.  Car accidents, death in the family, and other true emergencies are understandable and most people will allow you plenty of time to catch up.  Make sure to let people know what is going on as soon as possible.
    • Miscommunication – we all have different ways of communicating and a commitment can get muddle in translation from one party to the next.  When someone says they will send the information over to you “soon” what does that mean (today, tomorrow, within the next week or within the next month, etc….)  What you say can be translated into something very different for those on the receiving end.  Make sure to be as specific as possible and clarify as often as necessary.  If your schedule is booked this week offer to do it the following week.  Be honest and make sure you understand what the expectations are before making the commitment.

    Use common sense when making promises to family, friends, and business acquaintances.  Whenever possible try to use definite and attainable goals.  Give people a deadline or point of reference.  If you do state a specific day or time make sure you follow through.  When possible get it done earlier then promised and you will win even more brownie points for future projects.  Treat others with the respect and honesty you would want.

    Have you noticed other common reasons for not following through?  What ways do you keep track of the commitments you make?  How do you make sure that you have followed through on your promises?