• Heart Reflections: 1 Corthinians 13 Heart Assessment

    Beautiful purple flowers with white spots from our last trip to Charleston.  Sometimes I feel like my heart is spotted much like these pretty flowers.

    There are days when I feel like I mess up more than get it right.  I say things that aren’t sweet and nice, over react to the little stuff, or have a bad attitude.  Does anyone else have these types of days?  The people who probably know me the best are those who get the “privilege” of living with me everyday (my husband and kids).  They have seen many of my mistakes, bad days, and over reactions. As Jake and I approach our 12th anniversary I am reminded while the most important relationship I have is with my heavenly Father another one that impacts our entire family is my relationship with my husband.  While I was thinking about our upcoming celebration the passage in scripture that came to mind is the one from 1 Corinthians.

    1 Corinthians 13:4-8

    4. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5. or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6. it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  8. Love never ends. As f or prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

    The verse was brought to my attention again as I was reading Lysa TerKeurst’s book Am I Messing Up My Kids when I got to the section on spouses.  While most days go smoothly (thanks to the large doses of grace Jake extends to me) I could really benefit by working on many of these characteristics.  When my relationship with Christ is open and consistent it ripples across to all other relationships I have, including my spouse and children.  Lysa gave an amazing 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Assessment that I want to share with you.  It was really good and included scripture passages to reference and / or memorize.  Many of these attributes and characteristics can be applied to other relationships as well.  As I read through the list it made me realize how far from perfect I am and how wonderfully gracious the Lord is to me. Yes, some of them I do much better than others but I could improve in many areas as well.   What better place to start implementing some of these characteristics than with your spouse….let’s give it a try!

    Whether you are having a tough time or things are going well at home I think we all can benefit from applying the principles outlined below (insights from Lysa’s book Am I Messing Up My Kids):

    • Am I patient with my spouse  (I am flexible and understanding)?  Ephesians 4:2-3
    • Am I kind to my spouse (I am kind in thought, words, and actions toward my spouse). Ephesians 4:31-32
    • Am I supportive (not envious) with my spouse? (I do not keep score when I feel I do more) James 3:16-18
    • Am I encouraging (not boastful) to my spouse?  (I do not brag about my accomplishments while downplaying my spouse’s)? Hebrews 3:13
    • Am I humble (not proud) with my spouse? (I do not think my agenda is more important than my spouse’s agenda.) 1 Peter 5:6
    • Am I gracious (not rude) to my spouse?  (I build up my spouse with my words spoken in private and public.) Ephesians 4:29
    • Am I selfless (not self-seeking) with my spouse? (I focus on my spouse’s needs and wants and balance them with my own.) Philippians 2:3-4
    • Am I self-controlled (not easily angered) with my spouse? (I do not have a short fuse or quick temper) Proverbs 15:1
    • Am I able to forgive and let go (keeping no record of wrong) with my spouse’s shortcomings? (I do not use my spouse’s past shortcomings as ammunition in today’s disagreements or allow these things to taint our communication today.) Colossians 3:12-14
    • Do I delight in being faithful to God (not delighting in evil)? (I seek to live a pure life and choose not to flirt with sin.) Ephesians 4:1
    • Do I rejoice with the truth? (I actively pursue God’s truth over Satan’s lies.) John 8:31-32
    • Do I seek to protect my spouse? (I fill in the gaps where my spouse feels weak and vulnerable.) I Thessalonians 5:11
    • Do I trust my spouse? (I give my spouse the benefit of the doubt.) – I Peter 3:8
    • Do I keep hope alive in my marriage? (I trust God with “our” future, not “my” future.) – Jeremiah 29:11
    • Do I persevere in my marriage? (I look for solutions to problems rather than look for a way out.) Matthew 5:33
    • Am I committed to the permanence of our marriage? (I believe that divorce is not an option for us.) Malachi 2:16

  • Intentional Living: Weekly Goals

    We finished having our family yard sale this past weekend, it was nice getting rid of some extra items that the girls have outgrown or things we no longer use.  Now I am gearing up for a busy week with work, events, and an upcoming family adventure over Memorial Day weekend (the kids are super excited)!  I am looking forward to sharing with you the fun details of our adventure soon!

    Last week’s goals:

    Family Goals

    1. Connect with each family member at least once a day
    2. Schedule a Date Night with Jake – got a date night on the calendar!
    3. Prep for upcoming Family Trip – need to finish up the final details this week
    4. Schedule a Family Game & Fun Night
    5. Read at least one book to the girls every day
    6. Listen to the girls read at least one book to me or Jake every day
    7. Family Yard Sale – did this on Saturday!

    Personal Goals

    1. Exercise – walk at least 5 days this week – not doing so well with this one
    2. Review my upcoming goals
    3. Finish reading  How We Love Our Kids by Milan & Kay Yerkovich – still have not found this book (I think it got lost on my India or Charleston trip) so I switched and started focusing on another one this week

    Home Management Goals

    1. All laundry for the week washed, folded, and put away in one day
    2. Work on Spring / Deep Cleaning the House – got some of it done, hope to get more next week now that the yard sale is done
    3. Weekly Dinner Menu & Schedule planned out for the week
    4. Spend 30 minutes every day picking up / cleaning the house
    5. Prepare for our upcoming Yard Sale

    Business Goals

    1. Work on ideas for upcoming blog posts
    2. Keep up with the day to day items that need my attention
    3. 1o minutes a day Cleaning / Organizing my desk
    4. Work on upcoming speaking engagement

    Ministry Goals

    1. Meet a friend or family member for Breakfast or Lunch
    2. Be a blessing to a total stranger this week
    3. Email the updated praises, prayer requests, and schedule to our Community Group – this one slipped through the cracks this week

    Financial Goals

    1. Stay within Budget on Groceries $40 for 4
    2. Emergency Fund – save 3 months worth of living expenses – soooo excited to have this one done!
    3. Put money aside for upcoming trips – starting setting aside a little bit
    4. Put cash aside for 1 year of Jake’s College Classes – started adding to the college fund

    My goals for the upcoming week:

    Family Goals

    1. Connect with each family member at least once a day
    2. Schedule a Date Night with Jake
    3. Prep for our upcoming Family Trip
    4. Read at least one book to the girls every day
    5. Listen to the girls read at least one book to me or Jake every day
    6. Plan & go on at least one family Adventure
    7. Spend some extra time catching up with family and friends

    Personal Goals

    1. Exercise – walk at least 5 days this week
    2. Review my upcoming goals
    3. Finish reading  Am I Messing Up My Kids by Lysa TerKeurst
    4. Finish reading No One to Call Me Home by Rev James J. Close

    Home Management Goals

    1. All laundry for the week washed, folded, and put away in one day
    2. Work on Spring / Deep Cleaning the House
    3. Weekly Dinner Menu & Schedule planned out for the week
    4. Spend 30 minutes every day picking up / cleaning the house

    Business Goals

    1. Work on ideas for upcoming blog posts
    2. Keep up with the day to day items that need my attention
    3. 1o minutes a day Cleaning / Organizing my desk
    4. Work on upcoming speaking engagement

    Ministry Goals

    1. Meet a friend or family member for Breakfast or Lunch
    2. Be a blessing to a total stranger this week
    3. Email the updated praises, prayer requests, and schedule to our Community Group

    Financial Goals

    1. Stay within Budget on Groceries $40 for 4
    2. Emergency Fund – save 6 months worth of living expenses (we finished saving up for a 3 month emergency fund so now we are working hard on getting our 6 month emergency fund established, the yard sale this past weekend was a good boost for us)
    3. Save money for upcoming trips
    4. Put cash aside for 1 year of Jake’s College Classes
    5. Save money for upcoming home projects

    I think it is important to share and encourage each other as we seek to improve our lives and the lives of those around us.  I want to live intentionally not just hope all my dreams and goals come true.  When I focus on small steps of improvement I am able to see results as I get closer to my goals.  Some weeks I get closer to the goals I have in my life and other weeks a take a few steps back (life happens, emergencies occur, people get sick).  Once the goals are written down and shared it provides a guideline for what I aim to accomplish this week.

    Why Share My Goals?

    • To keep me accountable
    • To share a piece of my life with you as I strive to be a better Child of God, Wife, Mom, Friend, Homemaker, Entrepreneur and the many other roles I have each week
    • To have my goals consistently written down so I can gauge progress more accurately
    • Create healthy habits in my life
    • To encourage you to share your goals with me as you continue to grown and learn

    How did you do this week on your goals?  Feel free to share or link to your list of weekly goals.

    The picture above is one that I created for my own purposes, however, The “SMART” acronym was originally coined 30 years ago by Peter Drucker in his classic work, Management by Results